Merry Christmas Eve!!!!

Are you ready to start the celebrations? Are you prepared for the holiday to be over?

Will you stay up until midnight on Christmas Eve, or will you celebrate Christmas Day?

Are you still trying to make food, wrap gifts and not have a mental breakdown?

I’ve already had two holiday breakdowns. That’s a new record for me.

Usually, I’m prepared for the holiday. I say that, but I always have some last-minute gifts I have to buy and some last-minute desserts I want to try. This year it feels like I got blindsided by Christmas.

I’ve stressed getting gifts, making food, and being as helpful to others. I’ve worn myself thin. Now I want the holiday to be over. I know I can’t always buy the perfect gift, make everyone happy, or have every holiday experiment unique. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try.

I want to sit together, gifts open and forgotten, and a Harry Potter or a Christmas movie playing. I want to get over this giant to-do list I’ve made for myself.

I still haven’t gotten my boyfriend’s family a gift. I want them to like me, but I’m also never around because I always work. I feel it makes the few times I do come about more of a nuisance and cause more problems than I’m worth.

How is that different than any other time I’m literally anywhere with anyone? It isn’t, but I think due to the holiday, it feels different.

Buying my boyfriend’s parents’ gift, I have fallen into a spiral.

I don’t know what to get them. I don’t know what they like. I’m never around to talk to them. Maybe I shouldn’t get them anything. How can I get them to like me if I don’t get them anything. And restart the cycle.

And it doesn’t help that my boyfriend’s advice is they will like whatever you get them. First of all, that is a lie. Second, don’t you know what your parents like?

I was going to make a cheesecake, but what if it isn’t good enough? I might make them some fudge, but what if they don’t like it?

So many what-ifs, and I only have one day.

Three Days to Christmas! How?

Is it just me, or is this Christmas not Christmasing the way it is supposed to? I barely wrote my Santa letter and started my Harry Potter marathon.

I’m SOOO thankful to autocorrect. I wrote this whole letter as Satan instead of Santa. Like, I’m not even dyslexic; I’m just dumb.

Dear Santa,

This year has passed so fast that I cannot keep up with the days.

I want to start by saying I’ve been good this year. Like really good, and it wasn’t easy. As I get older, my wants and passions have changed, so I am asking for a lot.

I’ve been suffering from crazy anxiety attacks, so there may be a way to stop that. Can you give me a little serotonin that lasts all of next year? Or something that will help me find the motivation to do little things like get out of bed and do the dishes? Maybe slip a sense of purpose to me; that would be great too.

Let us be realistic. Since only a therapist and a fistful of pills can help me. Can you give me a basic understanding of taxes and some business advice? From one hopefully soon entrepreneur to the most famous philanthropist in the world.

Now, my dear Santa, I know you are a strong supporter of the dadbod and have a few extra pounds. I love that for you, but me not so much. Now I know I’m a full meal, and my thick thighs saved lives, but I could use some help to lose some serious weight. I’m over here looking like the pickle guy from SpongeBob.

I’ll put in some work too. Just help me lose a stone or two. If by the end of the year I’m 57 kilos, that would be perfect. Sorry, I’m obsessed with British weight loss shows.

I would ask for a better world. I’d say world peace, but I doubt this world will ever be peaceful. Can we restart this game of the sims because everyone is poor and fighting with each other? But you aren’t a miracle worker. I have a specific idea of how we could improve the world. Now this one isn’t your forte but would it be possible to do a scrooging on like every billionaire? Send the ghost and let them buy the turkeys for the poor and give away millions to the needy. It would only be right. This is the 30th anniversary of The Muppets Christmas Carol. So like perfect time. We could even use The Muppets again.

I realize this all seems like a lot, but I’m sure you can handle this.

Please and Thank you,
Eryn

The only proper response to this letter is.

This Christmas, I feel like I’ve been so materialistic. Not for myself but for getting everyone the perfect gift.

Because gift-giving is one of my love languages, I forget that gifts don’t matter. Spending time with friends and family is more important than checking off an Amazon wishlist. And it took me watching Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas and writing out my Christmas cards to realize that it’s just about sharing love.

I’m watching the movie, and the last story, The Gift of the Magi, comes on, and I’m crying. I’m twenty-five years old; I’m still crying over this.

Does anyone else watch it and wish you had a love like that? Willing to give up everything that matters to make the person you love happy?

But it wasn’t even that story; it was the narrator at the end before everyone started singing. The narrator says, “This Christmas season let us all do our parts to keep Christmas spirits alive in our hearts.”

And I was like, what have I done to share the Christmas spirit? And all I could think about was, well, I’m buying everyone gifts. But let’s be honest, that’s not doing that much. And I looked down and remembered I was writing these sincere cards to people I can’t see often and who I don’t talk to regularly because I miss them and want them to know I care. But I want to do something for the people around me in my neighborhood, but I don’t know what.

My grandmother had a lemon tree in her backyard and would force us kids, to pass out lemons to all the neighbors. It didn’t matter if they asked or not; they got lemons on their doorsteps.

I would love to do something like that, but in this day and age, people would throw away whatever I left on their doorstep. I know because if something random appeared on my doorstep, I would throw it away.

It’s sad how we’ve grown as a society to be so untrusting of everyone. I wish I could have experienced knowing your neighbors, instead my neighbors are crazy. I literally had a neighbor yell at me over stealing their Amazon package.

Things just aren’t what they used to be.

I wish we could grow closer as a society and be kind to one another.

BLOGMAS Day 15!!!!

At the beginning of the year, I recently reconnected with my family on my dad’s side, so I decided to send them all Christmas cards. I’m behind on sending out my Christmas cards

But I have this fun little idea to make Christmas Crackers out of the card. Now in the UK, they have these super cute little decorations that have jokes or poems or quotes in them with little trinkets. I think they are adorable and are becoming more popular in America.

So I plan on writing my cards like usual with a message about I’m grateful to know the person, but I wanted to add a recipe and some stickers to each gift. And since I’m not sure if everyone knows what a Christmas cracker is, I plan to write a little message explaining it in each card.

“I’m not sure if you are familiar with Christmas crackers; they are popular British decorations with small gifts inside. Unfortunately, we aren’t British, and I’m not there to spend Christmas with you. I hope you enjoy my version of a Christmas cracker.”

I think having some little tuck-in, the card makes it more memorable and fun. No one really gets physical cards, but I love the idea of a physical card.

It’s 49 degrees outside and, basically, midnight, and all I want to do is have a winter picnic.

There’s something about how the moon looks and how it’s cold but not too cold. I think even if it was snowing I’d still want a picnic.

It doesn’t even need to be anything fancy. Something simple, calming and romantic.

Warm blankets wrapped around our shoulders, on top of a hill watching the city lights while drinking hot chocolate with cookies and foil wrapped toasted sandwiches. All the picnic spots in LA close at 10pm. But there are plenty of places to park a car and talk.

My life’s best and most meaningful conversations have been in a car. Car talks are so intimate if you’re with the right person. It’s pretty much completely quiet except for your voices.

Maybe I’ve been reading too many books and watching too many hallmarks. But I think I’ll wait another week until people are finally in the Christmas spirit, have up their lights, and then try to drive around.

Maybe I can convince my boyfriend to wear a matching onesie, get some hot cocoa and drive around. Maybe I can come up with a nice winter sandwich by them. Or maybe make popcorn since well be driving around.

I know picnics are usually associated with summertime. But why not be adventurous and try out a winter picnic?