Posted in Lifestyle

New Month, New Mindset

I hope the start of the month inspires you!

I always look at the beginning of a new month as a fresh start. You can start over every morning, but today is a new month to conquer your goals. There are so many lessons, changes, and beginnings waiting for us.

This month Im leaning toward believing that things will work out, and if they don’t, that’s not for me anyway. We must embrace the changes and struggles that happen in our life. Think of things you would like to do better and more for others, yourself, or change during this new month. Sometimes it will be hard to accept change; other times, it can be easy, but don’t fight it. Keep moving forward, and you will push through it.

It’s never too late to become who you want to be. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Go into this new month with great expectations and
determination.

I hope everyone goes into this month loving and safe. Remember, you are human and will make mistakes, but how you respond to those mistakes makes you who you are. We are all a work in progress; all we can do is keep trying.

I believe in you.

Posted in Lifestyle

Manifest Your Dream Life

To mentally prepare for the year, I can spend all of January and even some of December planning. Usually, I don’t know my wants for the whole year in the first week of January. Nothing wrong with that. Each year is different. Some years for me, January is a rocky month, but by June, I’m like, this is my best year ever. And sometimes, it’s the reverse. It really depends. This year I am controlling the narrative. So even if January is terrible, it isn’t.

It takes a lot to live the life I want. Coming from me, that probably sounds strange since I constantly complain about my life. If I’m being honest, my life isn’t that bad. It is stressful at times, but overall I’m pretty lucky. Just because things don’t work out when and how I want them doesn’t mean the end of the world.

So call it manifesting, praying, the law of attraction; same difference. It’s putting your intentions into the universe and hoping that something or someone is listening.

Before I put any energy into the universe, I meditate. I want a clear mind before I do anything. For me, it starts with thinking positively. I know that sounds lame, but it helps. Say a few affirmations and give yourself a little love. Positive thinking is soo important for mental health.

And then I question everything. What do I need? What do I need in my life, family, health, and career? What do I want? What do I want for my life? I try to be as transparent with my intentions as possible. I have to be honest about what I am willing to work towards.

After I’ve decided, I write it down. This year I made my first vision board. Usually, I write down bullet points in a journal. I should clarify this is different than the goals I share with you at the beginning of each year. Not by much, but it is different.

This might be unconventional, but I made my vision board online. I didn’t do a super intense collage. I created sections for myself for my family, health, hobbies, and fun. I put influencers and celebrities who I admire. Things I wish would happen throughout this year and in the future.

One of the reasons that not journaling really affected my life and mental state last year was that I could not see the work I put into these goals. You can’t just put it out into the universe or pray about it once and then expect all of your problems to be fixed magically. You have to work towards this.

Some questions I ask myself every month are

  • What am I grateful that God or the Universe has already given me?
  • How am I bettering myself?
  • What efforts am I putting into this goal? What can I do differently?
  • What brings you inner peace? What is it about this person, place, or thing that affects my this way?
  • How have my desires changed over the years?

You have to check in with yourself regularly. I like to check in once a month. Are you being negative? If you are, why? Negative energy doesn’t bring good things. And being negative allows you to miss signs around you. It’s basically self-sabotage.

One time I was looking for a new job. It was taking a while, and I was starting to feel defeated. I remember complaining to everyone about how I needed a new job and more money. When I finally got an interview, I jumped at the chance. The company was sketchy, but I didn’t care; I still went. And even after going to the first interview, they scheduled a second interview. I was still like this is super sketchy, but I was also being negative like this is probably the only thing I’m going to get. After that first interview, I got a call from a different, not sketchy company asking if I wanted to interview. I was being salty about them passing on me the first time I applied, so I turned it down. I returned to the sketchy place, did the second interview, and got the job. It was a pyramid scheme. Self-sabotage is real.

You have to trust your gut and trust the process. You know what is right for you. You know when what you’re doing is good for you as a person. I refuse to believe people are out of touch with their bodies and don’t know what’s happening. The little happy tingles I get when I eat sugar or finish a book are the same ones I get after a good workout.

Now when it comes to being one with the universe and making sure that the one game of MASH you played where you lived in a mansion married to Calum from 5SOS with eight kids comes true, driving a white Bronco. You have to do three things: be realistic, put in work, and trust the process. There’s no time limit on manifesting. Something I wanted and worked toward years ago is coming true now.

Making a dream into reality begins with what you have, not with what you are waiting on.

T.F. Hodge

I’m a little impatient and controlling with just about everything. Sometimes, I don’t notice things happening until it’s too late. Which doesn’t always allow me to show proper gratitude.

My faith is a powerful motivation and guide. I grew up hearing God’s got a plan. Being an adult made me realize that our plans may not always align. I know I want something now, but perhaps I’m not ready for it emotionally, mentally, financially, or physically. I don’t expect to get some prophetical dream that will tell me God’s goal for me. I would love one, but life doesn’t work that way.

So let us take a deep breath and breathe out all our negative thoughts about what the future has in store for us.

Posted in Lifestyle

23 GOALS FOR 2023!

Hello, 2023!!!!!!

It’s a new year and new beginnings!!

I’m excited to set some goals for this year. And yes, there are 23 goals, and this will be my last year doing 20+ goals. Starting next year, 20 will be the max goal I have. 

I wasn’t super excited to have 23 goals this year, but I couldn’t determine which ones to cut from my list. I’m already emotionally attached to all of them. But I am trying to focus mainly on thirteen specific goals; the rest are just things I want to try to do.

You will see a lot of things from previous years on here because these are things I feel I need to work on more. 

Let’s get into it, shall we?

1. 2023 Reading Challenge

On Barnes & Noble’s Instagram, they posted a 52-week book reading challenge. I want to combine that with the alphabetical challenge, which makes it much more complicated, and find a way to read the nine books I purchased when Barnes & Noble’s had 50% off all hardcovers.

2. Practice Mindfulness

I plan to meditate and get in the right headspace a few moments a day. I want to be aware of what I’m doing without being overwhelmed. I aim to step back from my thoughts and watch them and control them rather than them controlling me.

3. Staying Consistent

Whether at work, on this blog, or even with my diet, I want to be consistent. Otherwise, I’ll abandon things without realizing it. I feel like this may become a problem when I’m uninspired or upset about not seeing results, and I need to prepare for that and work around it.

4. Get Back into Journaling

Journaling helps me control my thoughts and emotions; I feel super stressed without journaling. Some days I’m just feeling a lot of things and I don’t always know how to express it.

5. Eliminate One Bad Habit

I have tons of bad habits, and it’s time to break them. I didn’t notice them until they began affecting my daily life. Mostly the overspending, slouching, procrastinating, negative self-talk, overthinking, failing to say no to people, and eating poorly. I’m sure there are more.

6. Write 100 Blogs

I think I can do it. I wrote over 50 blogs last year, so now I believe I can bust out 100 posts. Is this false confidence? Absolutely. But the new year, new me baby, and confidence are where it’s at.

7. Strengthen Relationships

This year I want to be there for the people in my life. Sometimes it feels like I don’t reach out unless it is a holiday or beneficial. And I want people to stay in my life, so I’ll start making the first move.

8. Create a Regular Exercise Routine

I want to end this year being smaller. I don’t need to reach a specific weight point, but I would like to be smaller. And even if not smaller, just more physically fit.

9. Prioritize My Happiness

I love making other people happy, but there comes the point where I also need to make myself happy. I need to acknowledge that it is not selfish to fill myself with joy. Give me what I genuinely want and need emotionally.

10. Speak Better Spanish

Do I speak better Spanish today than at the beginning of 2022? Heck yea, I do, but it’s still very elementary level. I’m nowhere near conversational in my Spanish. And surprisingly, I am better at writing and reading Spanish than I am at speaking it. The goal is to be able to have a conversation.

11. Another No Buy Month

When I had the no-buy month, I felt the most relaxed. No looming worry about where money was going or shock over how much I spent on food. It was a simpler time. Also, it helped control my impulse purchases.

12. Pay Off ALL Debt

My debt isn’t all that bad. I know people with hundreds of thousands in debt. Luckily I don’t have that, but when you live in California and barely make above minimum wage, it is like you’re living paycheck to paycheck, so paying off debt seems to be a little more complicated.

13. Focus On My Business

I announced that I would sell Ice Cream, but I never did. I got cold feet about actually doing something. This year is different; I have plans. I want to have a spot at Smorgasburg, Los Angeles. I want to get a business license. I want to do something with my hands that makes me proud.

14. Sew A Costume

I keep saying I will sew a costume, but I never do. Between the last-minute planning and the mental breakdown about my weight by the time Halloween comes, I don’t even have a costume more often than not. This year is different. I want a costume. I want to be Anastasia from the 1997 cartoon.

15. Reflect On Each Month

I would really like to just get in touch with my feelings and remember what happened each month. What did I learn from each month? What were the high and low points? How can I make the next month better?

16. Spend More Time Outside

I’m never outside, and I hate that. My skin looks pale and even a little sick because I don’t remember the last time I was outside for longer than just walking to or from the car. I mean, I do, but that was back last March. Maybe I’ll try to do the 1000 hours outside challenge.

17. Take a Skill Class

I would love to try something new. I have been thinking about doing a yoga class or an art class. Just something to break up the norm, and you know, on The Sims, every time one of them takes a skill class, they always feel more inspired and focused. So, I’d love for a life that imitates art moment and would like to see if it works in real life.

18. Enforce Boundaries

I have a hard time setting personal boundaries as well as acknowledging others. It is not by choice, but it is something I need to be aware of and respect. I think for myself if I start to

19. Be Tidier

I want to declutter and organize my living space and life. In books, a character’s mental state is represented by their living space. I want a clean mind and a clean home. I plan to spend 25 minutes a week cleaning. This isn’t a lot, but for a person like me who procrastinates and is constantly tired, 5 minutes is more than a lot of time.

20. Have a Family Dinner Once A Month

I want to prioritize being with my family. My family is always doing something, and I never see them.

21. Fix Things I’ve Been Avoiding.

My house needs some TLC, and I’ve been saying I’ll get to it, and then I never do. Mainly because it’s so expensive but also because it’s all things that are for looks and not function. But they need to be done. So no more procrastinating.

22. Save for a car

I know this is always on my list. But this year, I mean it. For the last few years, I didn’t want to drive at all. I was scared to drive, but then I was forced to because I was house-sitting in a completely different city and had to go to work; Uber would have been way too expensive. And now I like driving. I’m still super anxious about it, but I feel better.

23. Volunteer

Last year I made more excuses about not having time to volunteer and once again donated money. It feels like just giving money is a cop-out. It feels like here’s money go away. And that’s not even close to how I think about giving. So I would like actually to do something for my community

Posted in Health and Wellness

Working On My Fitness

After not being in a gym for an entire year, I finally restarted my membership and went to the gym. I hated it.

My old warm-up felt like an intense workout. I thought I was pushing myself too hard, too fast, but in reality, I wasn’t. My body has become used to little to no movement. My old warm-up wasn’t anything crazy either; it was basic cardio. I’d run on the treadmill or use the StairMaster for fifteen to twenty minutes. I’ve been dreading the stair master for a while because I fell and hurt my ankle, another reason I haven’t been working out.

Recently, I’ve become one of those people who can only work out in the gym. When I’m home, I feel like I have many more important things to do than work out. So not having a gym membership and not having the motivation to work out on my own at home has been hard for me.

The crazy thing is I used to have the motivation to work out at home. I would do yoga, follow along to a Chloe Ting video in my room, skate and run through my neighborhood. I used to have confidence in myself.

It seems like more and more I relate to my teenage self than an adult. I say this because it feels like my confidence and self-motivation are related to my self-worth. Unfortunately, my self-worth appertains to my appearance.

A lot of scientific research shows that being overweight causes an increase in major depression, bipolar disorder, and panic disorders. Of course, those mean nothing to me.

I’ve had these struggles with motivation and confidence before with activities like writing or Vlogging. I decided to do both of those activities only when I felt motivated. And now I don’t do them as often as I would like. I’m trying to grow my confidence in myself by working on myself.

So I’ve decided to treat exercise differently. Exercise differs from writing and Vlogging in one fundamental way: the degree of necessity. I try to force myself to find my motivation after a workout. Mostly exercises where I’m entirely disgusting, I mean feeling so out of breath and sweaty. I feel much better. I haven’t done enough of those exercises in a minute, so I will keep working on it until I do.

My favorite type of workout was Skating; it makes your butt look big and your legs get toned. The last time I tried skating, I had to take a 5-minute break every 10 minutes due to my legs shaking and feeling completely uneven. I want to start back skating, but I need to find my center of gravity again.

I know I will not be as good as last time, but my perfectionist’s brain tells me otherwise.

One of my best friends calls me a badass. I need to start believing it.

I’m a “I look cute at the gym in my matching sports bra and leggings” girlie. It feels weird wearing that when I’m bigger.
Posted in Lifestyle

Revisiting My 2022 Goals

It’s already the middle of the year, so it’s time to reevaluate my 2022 goals. This year has been challenging. One thing after another, I’m starting to feel like I can’t keep up.

1 . WORKING LESS

This goal changed. I wanted to work less to spend time with family. I could get a new job and start having consistent hours and the weekends. It feels like I’m working fewer hours than I am still working 40hrs a week. 

2. READING MORE BOOKS

Between reading physical books and downloading Kindle Unlimited, I can gladly say I have read 33 books this year. I need to branch out and read books that aren’t just fiction because I’ve started to get bored with fiction, but I also don’t find any other genre interesting. 

3. WORKING OUT MORE

I forgot I put this as an actual goal. I know I’ve been mentioning for a while that I have wanted to lose weight every day for the past two years. Well, I finally got myself a gym membership last week. I know I could have worked out at home, but I’ve rarely been the type to find motivation at home. 

4. SHOPPING BAN FOR 30 DAYS

May was the month I picked for my 30day shopping ban, and I loved it. I wasn’t stressed about money as much as I usually am. Did I want to go to Starbucks?  Hell Yes!!!!!!  Did I want to go shopping? Of course! I’m not a minimalist at all. The impulse I have to hit the “buy” button is so intense sometimes. Shopping is how I deal with challenging emotions. But after a while, I kind of just stopped craving those things. I only recently went to Marshall’s to go shopping, and instead of buying clothes like I usually would, I just restocked my skincare. 

5. LEARN TO SEW

Going to Ren Faire made me realize how much I needed to learn to sew on a machine. I know how to hand sew. I can hem my pants and fix a loose button but wouldn’t be able to make an entire outfit. I need to learn to sew on a machine. With Halloween around the corner, I’ve decided to make my own Halloween costume. I want to be either Snow White or Donald Duck. I know the outfit will probably be not the best, but it will be practice for when I finally decide to make a better outfit for Ren Faire. 

6. SPEAK BETTER SPANISH

I still can’t have entire conversations with my inlaws yet, but I can at least understand what they are saying better. I know more words in Spanish, and I can say complete sentences. I think if I keep practicing, maybe by the end of the year, I could probably start speaking to them in Spanish; I still don’t feel confident in my pronunciations.  

7. AT LEAST 50 BLOG POSTS THIS YEAR

I’ve currently written 23 this year and plan to write at least once a week and a blog a day for October and December, so I think I can meet my goal. If I write a blog weekly, there would be 27 blogs alone, making me have 50 blogs. My biggest problem is just staying on top of it. I keep letting my life get in the way. 

8. SPEND LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA

I don’t use social media at all, but I may have to retract this goal if I want to be a better blogger and vlogger and eventually start my podcast. I’m going to have to be more engaged on social media. I have to start posting more. I have to promote myself and the blog. I started an ice cream business, and I’ve done nothing even to let people know I have an ice cream business. I can’t have a business if no one knows it exists.

9. MASTER MAKING COFFEE AT HOME

Not only have I mastered making coffee at home, but I’ve also mastered making coffee in my job’s breakroom. I’ve learned how to make my own iced raspberry chai latte. I am super disappointed I haven’t found more make-at-home recipes. Raspberry chai lattes are pure heaven. I have been very good about not stopping for coffee. I drink way less coffee now as well. Before, on an average day, I would drink about 64oz of iced coffee and sugar. Now I drink probably 16oz total. 

10. LEARN TO USE MY CAMERAS

I’ve improved using my iPhone to take pictures and record videos. I just ended up helping a friend make TikTok videos and recorded most of them on my iPhone. I still have not picked up my fancy vlog camera. I haven’t touched that camera in years. It feels wrong to pick up that camera for pictures when I know how good it can be to make videos with it. 

11. DO SOMETHING NICE FOR MYSELF EVERYDAY

Giving myself time to relax and read has been nice. I allow myself to focus on something other than work or my housing situation. I allow myself not to be stressed or worried. And I’m a high-strung person, so not being stressed is hard. I would love to lie and say I don’t feel stressed when I read, but I do. I get stressed and anxious and second-hand embarrassment when characters do dumb things to when things in the story get intense. I love every moment of it. 

12. KEEP A MINIMALIST WARDROBE

As a person who likes shopping for fun but is also stress-shops, not buying clothes has been like not breathing. But I forced myself not to buy clothes and acknowledged that shopping instead of dealing with emotions isn’t what I’m supposed to do. I had to realize I had too many clothes. I forced myself to Marie Kondo my entire closet. It was the throwing away part that was harder than admitting I didn’t want things anymore. I started to feel like a hoarder. Expect less like the little mermaid and more like the A&E tv show. 

13. FIX THE THINGS I’VE BEEN NEGLECTING

I’m still neglecting things. My house is falling apart, and I literally can’t be bothered to fix it, which is not true but also like not not true. I will admit the house is a garbage can on fire, so sometimes I don’t see the point in trying to fix anything. Mostly because I know no one else cares how the house is. 

14. COOK THROUGH AN ENTIRE COOKBOOK

I ordered a cookbook and was going to do this back in March or April or some month early in the year, and I tried so hard to want to cook through it. The book was boring, and some of the recipes sounded nasty. Like, I literally hate the idea of eating unseasoned boiled chicken, and the fact that it was one of the main dishes didn’t give me much hope for the rest of the book. But today, I was given a new cookbook book that seems promising. So let’s not lose hope just yet. I never planned to cook through an entire cookbook this year to start the self-appointed challenge. 

15. EXPLORE MY STATE MORE

I have seen less of California this year than I would like. But I have seen a lot more of Nevada. I’ve already been to Vegas 3 times this year and plan to go again in September. As for California? I’ll get to it eventually. 

16. CREATE A BETTER BUDGET

Now that I have a new job, this is more crucial than ever. Because I need to start saving and planning my checks accordingly since I get paid on specific days of the month instead of every two weeks. My most significant expenses are Uber and my phone bill outside of rent. And since I can’t change my rent, I can only try changing everything else. 

17. TRY TO BE MORE AWARE OF WHAT I SAY

I must be aware of what I say because I talk to people all day. It’s not always formal, but I’m working on that part too. I’m constantly trying to explain things without sounding condescending or rude. And as a blunt person, it’s hard sometimes. But I take a minute and think of a different way to say something. 

18. SAVE FOR A CAR

I hate how I haven’t put a single dollar toward a car. Every time I try to say I get hit with other shit that needs money. It seems like my bills are constantly increasing. 

19. VOLUNTEER

I don’t believe in helping others if you can’t help yourself, and for the past few months, I’ve been barely keeping my head above the water. I now have some stability in my life. I will most definitely make a harder effort to volunteer soon. 

20. RESTART MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.

I need to pull the trigger. I need to set up my camera and just record. It isn’t that hard to make a video. I’ve done it multiple times before. And then I start to feel all weird about vlogging. I’ve cried while talking to the camera, but I feel funny being happy talking to it? Makes no sense. 

21. BE OKAY NOT BEING PERFECT

Never!!! No, I’m trying to restart therapy and get to the root of where my perfectionist mentally comes from. Mostly because I’ve always known I’m not perfect but hate myself daily for not being perfect. 

22. FOCUS ON MY BOOK

Does it count as focusing on my book if I shelved my original book idea and started working on something completely different? No, oh, okay. Then I guess I will have to work on both books. Maybe that way, I’ll finally be inclined to finish one of them. 

Am I disappointed I didn’t complete more goals this far into the year? Yes, because I feel like I should have been more proactive. I make these goals to better myself in some way. I don’t make these goals just for shits and giggles. 

On the other hand, I’m not disappointed for not doing more. Things don’t always go as planned, and I’ve had some significant life changes, and those things took priority. My mental health also took precedence this year. And I have to remind myself that my goals have changed. Some things aren’t seen as a priority anymore, and other things are. The things on this list are things I thought I wanted before this year started. I don’t have to force myself to check off every little thing I put on this list. 

Most of the goals I’ve completed on this list I didn’t do with goals in mind; they came kind of unconsciously.

Posted in Lifestyle

22 Goals for 2022!

Happy New Year, everyone! The first day of 2022 is officially here, and what better way to kick it off than with a resolution or two?

Last year I was so scared to make resolutions and goals. I was scared of what the future had for me as if I had no control. I don’t have any control over what happens in my life. I plan to control what I can by focusing on goals that I know are more realistic. I’m tired of letting fear stop me from being who I want to be. 

 Every time I plan out my goals or resolutions, it’s me trying to figure out how to change my life for the better.

Here are 22 of my goals for 2022 to give inspiration for your own

1 . WORK LESS

I don’t have a work-life balance. I’m always working. I realized how many things I missed and how many things I barely got to do by luck. I’m going to request the time off when I need to be with my friends and family. I’m going to be very intentional with planning time for my family.

2. READING MORE BOOKS

I want to read at least 12 books this year. I don’t seem to know how to read anymore. That sounds wrong. Let me rephrase this. I find myself buying many books but not reading a lot of books. And I’ve also come to see if I am reading; it is not reading critically. Reading used to be engaging. I used to annotate my books.

3. WORKING OUT MORE

I used to be in a place where I was comfortable being in a gym alone. I used to go to the gym without fail at least three times a week. I was happy with my fitness journey. I’m slowly getting back into it but doing the terrain run made me realize how out of shape I am now compared to before lockdown. I’m excited to be back to the level of fitness I was before.

4. SHOPPING BAN FOR 30 DAYS

I spend too much money. I have been trapped in a vicious cycle of work-spend-debt. I spend too much money, so then I’m in debt. Meaning I have to work to get myself out of debt. I’m a shopaholic. Most of my money is spent on coffee, makeup, clothing, and things for new hobbies that I eventually abandoned. 

5. LEARN TO SEW

Technically it would be relearning how to sew. I used to sew and crochet. As I mentioned, one of my goals is to lose weight. A part of losing weight is buying a whole new wardrobe. But I just said I’m giving myself a shopping ban. See my dilemma. If I could give my current clothes alterations, I could keep my cute closet, have clothes that fit, and not buy new clothes. 

6. SPEAK BETTER SPANISH

My three-year-old niece speaks better Spanish than I do. I want to communicate with my boyfriend’s family. I want to go to their house without feeling left out. I feel like knowing Spanish would make things a lot easier, even in my job. 

7. AT LEAST 50 BLOG POSTS THIS YEAR

I have so many blog ideas for the following year. 50 is not a lot when you think about it. If I were only to write one blog a week, that would be 52 posts alone. So I want to push myself to post once a week (not including months when I plan to post every day)  

8. SPEND LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA

I spend a lot of time on TikTok and Instagram. I’d rather focus my time on something more productive. How am I supposed to read all the books I want to read and make awesome blog content when I lay in bed for 2 hours just on my phone? 

9. MASTER MAKING COFFEE AT HOME

The amount of money I spend at Starbucks is crazy. There’s a Starbucks at my job, and the employees there joke that I only go to work to afford my Starbucks. I got myself an iced coffee maker to make all the iced coffee I want without having to spend $15 daily.

10. LEARN TO USE MY CAMERAS 

I’m genuinely bad at using cameras. I have a vlogging camera and a Fujifilm Instax camera, and I don’t use either. Mostly because I don’t know how to take pictures or videos. My boyfriend set up his camera, and all I had to do was hit the button, and the second I touched it, the whole thing became blurry. 

11. DO SOMETHING NICE FOR MYSELF EVERYDAY

Doing something nice for myself doesn’t have to cost money or take up time. I want to appreciate myself and give myself the love I deserve. Wearing a panda hydrating face mask, taking some time to color, or dancing in my kitchen are all free and bring me joy.

12. KEEP A MINIMALIST WARDROBE

I want to lessen my closet. I have so many clothes I don’t wear. My job should be getting me a uniform soon, which should help me get rid of some clothes. I want to keep the basics and interchangeable items, so I don’t have to constantly buy new clothes.

13. FIX THE THINGS I’VE BEEN NEGLECTING

I wish I could update my entire house because it’s falling apart, but I don’t have the money to do that, nor do I want to when my roommates would just destroy the house again. My bedroom window is cracked, and my ceiling fan decided to kill itself in august. I don’t feel safe knowing my window is broken and could easily be used to break into my house. Yet I’ve left it alone for the past year.

14. COOK THROUGH AN ENTIRE COOKBOOK

This is all because I recently rewatched Julie & Julia. I remember saying I would love to cook through an entire cookbook, and my boyfriend said, well, why don’t you. At first, I tried to make excuses, but the more I thought about it, I couldn’t come up with any reasons for why I shouldn’t. 

15. EXPLORE MY STATE MORE

After moving back to California, I realized how little I know about California and how little of it I’ve seen. I’ve never been to San Diego or Catalina Island. There are so many places to visit in California. I would love to go to Lassen Volcanic National Park, Joshua Tree, Big Sur, and hike the Hollywood sign. 

16. CREATE A BETTER BUDGET

I used to think having a budget meant going on a spending diet. Keeping a tight budget and not going over a certain amount. And I will be doing that when I do my no-buy month, but a regular budget is needed because my boyfriend and I plan to merge our finances. We need to see when money is taken from our accounts, how much, and what adjustments we need to make to help us save more.

17. TRY TO BE MORE AWARE OF WHAT I SAY

I am a sincere person. I’m also very blunt. People who don’t know me just assume I’m mean or rude. I’m not rude or mean, I promise. I just grew up in a household where speaking your mind wasn’t a bad thing. I’m trying to unlearn that behavior and learn to think before I speak. I would love to not say hurtful things by accident. I’d probably have more friends if I knew what I was saying.

18. SAVE FOR A CAR

I need a car. A few things have deterred me from buying a car. There’s no parking where I live, and two, car insurance for people under 25 is crazy expensive for full coverage. But after spending $400 on uber, and ended up late to work more often than not due to few drivers. I’d rather spend that money on a car note and insurance. I have okay credit, but it’s still considered new credit, so no one offers me loans. If I save $5,000 for a down payment on a car, I can get a newer car. 

19. VOLUNTEER

I found a place to volunteer at. I am going to make time in my life to actually help people. Even if I don’t physically do any work, I still try to give to a shelter. I know that some places need the money more than they need extra hands, and I can respect that. 

20. RESTART MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.

I want to give it one last try. I don’t want my youtube to just be me crying. I want it to be my recipes and adventures and show off my personal growth.  

21. BE OKAY NOT BEING PERFECT

I felt that I had to be perfect Eryn at work, at home, and in my relationship for a while. And for a few years, I dealt with the guilt of not being perfect. When I quit school and when I moved in with my family. It made me try even harder to be perfect, and I recently realized that I wouldn’t always be perfect. I work 40+ hrs at work, and my family expects me to take care of the house and clean up after everyone. I’m learning to accept that, and I’m learning to stop letting my family feel like a less-than. 

22. FOCUS ON MY BOOK

I don’t want to finish it this year. I want to pour all of the focus, the care, and love I have for this story into it. I don’t want it to be just another checklist that I failed to mark off. I want my emotions to be felt in it. All of my favorite books made me cry and laugh and feel something. I want to be able to do that within my own writing. I used to feel silly when I was growing up crying at books or feeling second-hand embarrassment for a character. Now, as an adult, that’s what I look forward to. 

What are some of your New Year’s resolutions?

Let me know your goals for 2022 in the comments!

Posted in Lifestyle

Revisiting My 2021 Goals for the Last Time

Usually, I clean my house on Boxing Day and prepare for the new year and all that jazz, but I’m off Wednesday and Friday. I can take a break today. 

While I had the chance, I thought I would like to do an end-of-year revisit to my 2021 goals before working on my 2022 goals.

1 . GET MY DRIVER’S LICENSE. 

I’m still so proud of myself for getting my license. Now I need to get comfortable driving. 

2. CREATE A MONTHLY BUDGET. 

I really need to start saving better. This year has been chaotic. I’m struggling to even have money in my account without even spending it like crazy. 

3. CREATE A MORNING ROUTINE (And Actually Stick To It!) 

I have a printout of my routine and have a little checklist next to it to make sure my daily routine gets followed.

4. ELIMINATE ONE BAD HABIT. 

In July, a friend and I decided to finally stop smoking. We did it cold turkey and honestly, we feel better about ourselves.

5. COMMIT TO (ALMOST) DAILY WRITING. 

I’ve been writing and posting more. I try to write something I feel everyone will actually enjoy reading. Somedays, I worry about the blog and if I’m writing enough but I’m going to take breaks due to my mental health and try not to think how many readers don’t like what I have to say. 

6. SPEND MORE QUALITY TIME WITH HECTOR.

We’re out of the honeymoon stage, and now we see each other when we see each other. And sometimes, I have to remind myself that distance makes the heart grow stronger. 

7. PAY OFF ALL CREDIT CARDS. 

I have some debt, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was at the beginning of 2020 or 2021. I had charged off cards and maxed out cards.  Never again!!! Reminder to self: pay off your credit cards as you go. 

8. BUY A JOURNAL AND COMMIT TO 5 MINUTES A DAY OF WRITING. 

I said last time maybe I didn’t take this seriously, and I think I got so distracted with the bullet journal format I didn’t think about the therapy behind reflecting on a day and moving on from something. I’m a pressure cooker type of person. I let all the little things build and build until I’m ready to explode.

9. MAKE SELF-CARE A PRIORITY. 

When I changed jobs, I became a giant living, breathing working machine. I started to neglect myself. I have no energy for self-care or anything else. I hated reading my Christmas card saying, “thank you for being one of our most reliable agents.” Usually, I accept any type of praise, but this upset me. 

10. KEEP A REGULAR SLEEP SCHEDULE. 

I force my body every day to just work itself until it’s exhausted. That’s how I forced myself to get a sleep schedule: no melatonin or sleeping pills, just exhaustion. 

11. DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE. 

I participated in a terrain run with no training. My friends woke me up at six am, which was a mistake. I was ready to fight everyone. I got myself a hot chocolate and a cookie, and by 9 when we arrived, I was prepared to run. I didn’t do the mud obstacles. I didn’t want to get dirty. And we skipped the ones with long lines, but I tried my best, and I think I did okay. 

12. DO MORE FOR MY COMMUNITY

Just once, I would like to volunteer and make a difference. I got distracted and lazy.  I feel you have to work with your community and so many people don’t. 

13. MEDITATE AND PRACTICE MINDFULNESS EVERY DAY. 

I set an intention and write it down.  I have courage and be kind. Yes, it’s a Disney quote. But I say it every day. After I wake up, I spend 5-10 minutes in the morning sitting and just paying attention to my body. I focus on my breathing and surroundings and remind myself every day that’s enough. 

14. SPEND MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS. 

I am doing better at meeting people and even just calling them. I no longer feel like I’m annoying. If they didn’t want to talk to me, they would say so. I’m actually planning to visit people more in 2022. 

15. STOP BEING LATE FOR EVERYTHING. 

If it’s something I don’t want to go to, I show up late. And sometimes I’m on time, and my boyfriend is late. It’s just the perk of having two people who don’t care about time. 

16. BE MORE FOCUSED. 

Since I actually enjoy writing my blog and writing my story, I don’t have to force myself to focus on doing them. When I stopped forcing myself to focus on my goals, I did much better. Also, having a routine has helped. 

17. GET IN BETTER SHAPE. 

I still feel silly being in a gym alone. I learned a lot after working with a trainer, and now I am in better shape. I have much better stamina and strength. Now that I have the basics of properly working out and properly eating, I want to focus on losing weight now. 

18. DRINK MORE WATER.

I highly recommend a water reminder. I don’t need it as much now because I drink water all the time, but it was necessary when I first started. 

19. MORE PHOTOS OF MYSELF.

I found no excuse not to feel comfortable in my skin. I save pictures even when I look bad because I’m not scared of looking bad anymore. 

20. RESTART MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL. 

In 2022, I plan to give it one more honest chance, and if I still don’t feel comfortable, I plan to give up altogether. I’d instead try and fail than not try at all. 

21. FINISH MY BOOK

Not completing This goal hurts. I was so excited, and I dropped the ball. I wrote all of 3,000 words, and then life got in the way. 

These goals don’t just go away. Whatever I haven’t completed will be added to my goals for next year.

Posted in Lifestyle

2021 MID YEAR CHECK IN ✨

Do you remember the resolutions you set this year? To be completely honest, I don’t even recall all of them. But, it got me thinking: it’s time to revisit 2020 goals.

So, of course, I had to reread them. If you aren’t familiar with my goals, either go ahead and read them here.

I asked myself two questions about the blogs I didn’t complete.

Number one, Does this resolution still matter to me? 

There’s no reason to work towards goals that aren’t relevant to you anymore. Also, change the resolutions if you realize that your priorities have shifted.

After I determined if my goals were still important, I asked what steps have I taken -if any- towards said goals? 

If you’ve been slacking, acknowledge that, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Life gets in the way; we can’t do everything all the time. 

Also, determine if your goals are realistic. 

I completed a lot more of my goals for 2021 than I initially thought. 

somethings I did that helped me was by 

  • Breaking each resolution or goal into little steps.
  • organizing them by least to most important

1 . GET MY DRIVERS LICENSE. 

I passed on my first time. My original appointment was rescheduled due to covid. But as soon as I could go to the DMV, I did, and your girl got her license.

2. CREATE A MONTHLY BUDGET. 

I really need to start saving better. This year has been chaotic. First, I had to move, and then I changed jobs. So right now, I’m struggling to even have money in my account without even spending it like crazy. So hopefully, that will change now that I’m going to have a better job.

3. CREATE A MORNING ROUTINE (And Actually Stick To It!) 

There was a while when I was going to work at 4am, and now that has stopped, I still get up early, and I actually have a routine down, and I’m pleased with it. Although, of course, somedays I still take forever to get out of bed, the majority of my days, I’m up and about two hours before my alarms go off.

4. ELIMINATE ONE BAD HABIT.

I’m sure I technically removed a terrible habit, but I don’t see it. I’m still biting my nails, cussing too much, and smoking. But I am doing all of those things less than I was a year ago.

5. COMMIT TO (ALMOST) DAILY WRITING. 

I’ve been writing and posting more. Before, I would have nothing written and try to rush a post. Now, I have the post written and need to upload them. I feel this has been super therapeutic for me. I used to worry so much about my blog, and I feel that I’m not as stressed about it because I post more consistently.

6. SPEND MORE QUALITY TIME WITH HECTOR.

We started scheduling dates, and this has literally saved our relationship. We do see each other without planning things. Still, we keep a calendar with our workdays and any events on it to know when we will actually get to see each other. Welcome to adult dating. But maybe if we’re lucky, we will be getting an apartment together soon, which will def help.

7. PAY OFF ALL CREDIT CARDS. 

It took a while, but I was able to pay off all of my old credit cards. At first, I wasn’t going to mark this off because I included the new card that I used to buy myself a new vacuum? How boring! But I decided I’m taking this as a W. Honestly, this is the first time I have to pay off cards. I didn’t release the interest I had would be more than my freaking credit limit. Reminder to self: pay off cards as you go. 

8. BUY A JOURNAL AND COMMIT TO 5 MINUTES A DAY OF WRITING. 

Tried it didn’t like it. Trying to write in a journal felt tiresome. Maybe, I didn’t take it seriously enough? After a while, it felt more like a chore than a way to compose my thoughts. I don’t feel the need to reexamine every part of my days. I’d rather share my experience and what I’ve learned from them vs reflect on how the barista who handled my coffee said my name. Like I have anxiety I already do that.

9. MAKE SELF CARE A PRIORITY. 

I have no energy for self-care. Aside from getting more sleep and drinking more water, I’m still super stressed and anxious and can’t seem to say no to people. I love telling other people how important it is to self-care, then turn around and treat my body like it’s a trash can.

10. KEEP A REGULAR SLEEP SCHEDULE. 

I got tired of taking melatonin or some type of sleeping aid. So I made a habit of going to sleep. It’s a terrible habit. I force my body every day to just work itself until it’s exhausted. That’s how I forced myself to get a sleep schedule. Who knew sleeping at appropriate times so I can get up and leave my problems works wonderfully?

11. DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE. 

As I’ve said before, I’m a creature of habit. I don’t like changes or surprises, but I’m always willing to try something once. I haven’t had the opportunity as of yet to just try something crazy. But there’s still a whole half a year left, so who knows what can happen. 

12. DO MORE FOR MY COMMUNITY: 

Just like every other year, I have yet found time to volunteer. But, I have donated to a few charities, which is still something. If donating to charity is the only way you can do more for your community, that’s great.  I also think sometimes you have to actually get your hands dirty to make a difference.

13. MEDITATE AND PRACTICE MINDFULNESS EVERY DAY. 

The more I try to destress, the more stressful my life gets. I think a change will come in my life hopefully soon, and I’ll be able to meditate as much as I want, but this is low on my to-do list for now. That said, I still try to practice mindfulness. 

14. SPEND MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS. 

I recently reached out to some of my estranged family and was able to connect with them. I plan to keep in contact with them and try to revisit them soon. I’ve also gotten to spend more time with my boyfriend’s family. I’m still a crappy friend because I don’t contact some of my friends, but I just feel like I’m annoying. 

15. STOP BEING LATE FOR EVERYTHING. 

I’ve definitely gotten better, and I’m not as late as I usually am. But if it’s something I don’t want to go to, I still show up super late. And sometimes I’m on time, and my boyfriend is late. Seriously my friends ask us if we will arrive on time or on “Hector and Eryn” time. 

16. BE MORE FOCUSED. 

I really had to be strict with myself. I had to give myself a routine to make sure I knew when it was time to write and when it was time to watch tv or do something else. It was hard at first, but now I feel more comfortable focusing on one thing at a time. 

17. GET IN BETTER SHAPE. 

I actually got myself a personal trainer in March. He has helped me learn how to use machines and just helped me feel comfortable and confident in doing workouts by myself. When we started, and he gave me “homework,” I felt silly being in a gym alone, and now when I go by myself, I don’t even notice other people. 

18. DRINK MORE WATER.

 I downloaded a water reminder. How it started was every hour on the hour, I force myself to drink water. But I basically conditioned myself now to begin drinking water every time my phone gets a notification. I still don’t feel thirst which I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but at least now I’m not dehydrated. 

19. MORE PHOTOS OF MYSELF.

My original reason to start taking pictures was to find a positive outlook to know that I AM ENOUGH and that I am a total BADASS! so I started the plan on making myself a collage wall. have you seen how expensive these wall collage kits are? $50 for a partial kit!!!! No, Thank you. I have a printer for pictures that I can find online, and Walmart photos start at .09 cents.

20. RESTART MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL. 

I want to lie and say I haven’t started making videos because I don’t feel comfortable recording videos. But I haven’t tried. I was super excited to restart vlogging, and then I never even gave it a chance. I think this is something I’ll have to either force myself to start and at least give it one more honest chance or just give up altogether. 

21. FINISH MY BOOK

I had a great start at the beginning of the year and had started writing so much, and then life got in the way. I think this is something I’ll have to wait for and see how it goes. It might take another year for me to complete it, or I might just get hit with a big idea and motivation for  NaNoWriMo. 

Now, there’s still plenty of time left in 2021 to accomplish what we want to achieve. Let’s do this!

Posted in Lifestyle

21 goals for 2021

Have you started planning your new year? I’ve got some big goals for the new year!

After everything this year brought, I’m not sure how much of this list I will be able to do. My main goal is to focus on remaining positive throughout the year. So I wanted to make a list of goals to achieve throughout 2021.

Now I’m gonna be honest, I suck at sticking to goals. I spent years setting new year’s resolutions for myself, only to forget about them by February. I’m determined that this year will be different. I’m ok with not reaching some of my goals as long as I attempted to get them done. 

I know that creating goals gives you something to strive for and challenges you to be your best. Instead of making outrageous goals that I know I wouldn’t probably achieve, I decided to focus on goals that I know are more realistic. 

I decided to set goals that are more about WHO I want to be. I want to be a happier and more confident version of myself. I want to focus on what I need to do to be that person. 

My boyfriend will actually be creating his list later today, and when he gets back, I hope to get together to create our 2021 list. 

Some of these goals are carryovers from last year, while some are brand new.

1. GET MY DRIVERS LICENSE.

 I was supposed to do this, but due to COVID, my behind-the-wheel test was canceled. So the first available appointment of the new year I’m going to take.

2. CREATE A MONTHLY BUDGET. 

I really need to start saving better. It’s become all too easy in our house to spend it when we have it. While we have some money saved, my issue is moving the money over to my savings account.

3. CREATE A MORNING ROUTINE (And Actually Stick To It!) 

My mornings are the messiest part of my day. I do not rise and shine. Instead, I hit snooze on the alarm and throw the covers over my head. I am the person who has five different alarms that go off in the morning. Having that many alarms is chaotic, and I’m giving myself anxiety before I even get out of bed.

4. ELIMINATE ONE BAD HABIT.

 I have quite a few bad habits that have repeated themselves for too long. I want to change. I’ve been listening to the self-help book Atomic Habits by James Clear. This book has encouraged me to change my behaviors to build good habits and get rid of bad ones. 

5. COMMIT TO (ALMOST) DAILY WRITING. 

My goal is to have a very successful blog that can inspire others to live their best lives and remind them they are important. To do this, I need to write more. For the entire time I’ve been blogging, I have never had a backlog of more than one or two posts. I want that to change. Sticking to my weekly schedule is important to me, but it’s also the part of blogging I find the most stressful.

6. SPEND MORE QUALITY TIME WITH HECTOR.

With all the other crazy things life throws at us, it can be challenging to get that time in. Quality, alone time is definitely needed, whether it’s a romantic dinner, a board game, cuddle on the couch for a movie, or even an engaging conversation.

7. PAY OFF ALL CREDIT CARDS. 

Honestly, I just need to take two paychecks and pay them off already. And for someone in their early twenties, owing less than $1,000, it’s not that bad. 

8. BUY A JOURNAL AND COMMIT TO 5 MINUTES A DAY OF WRITING. 

I’m not great at journaling, but I want to get better. I want to really evaluate each day and try expressing my thoughts and feelings in writing.

9. MAKE SELF CARE A PRIORITY. 

I can not stress how important self-care is! I was taught that self-care was a luxury and was being selfish- it’s not, it’s a must! I struggled with this in the past, but I realized that it is a necessity. Even now, I still have to ask myself, If I don’t take care of my physical, emotional, and mental well-being, who will? 

10. KEEP A REGULAR SLEEP SCHEDULE. 

I’m an insomniac who has to take melatonin to get some sleep, but I don’t do that consistently. If I take melatonin too late, it leaves me feeling groggy the next day. I would like to get into the habit of going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, even on weekends.

11. DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE. 

I’m a creature of habit; I don’t like changing things. But I love learning things, and learning requires trying new things and exposing yourself to new and potentially uncomfortable situations. I genuinely believe that outside of our comfort zones is a beautiful journey of growth. Being pushed out of my comfort zone allowed me to find my passion.  

12. DO MORE FOR MY COMMUNITY: 

I do not have a good history of volunteering. I find it much easier to open my wallet for charity instead of giving my time. It’s the whole social thing; I often have a hard time putting myself out there. This year though, I want to find an organization I support and put in the hours.

13. MEDITATE AND PRACTICE MINDFULNESS EVERY DAY. 

Meditation helps to clear the brain, aid anxiety, reduce stress. Want to be more mindful of my words and actions. I am not saying that I am not mindful right now, but there is always room for improvement.

14. SPEND MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS. 

I know the phone works both ways, but why wait on them. I really want to be better about staying in touch with friends who aren’t in California.

15. STOP BEING LATE TO EVERYTHING. 

This is my mentality when it comes to time: if it takes 15 minutes to get somewhere, I leave 15 minutes before I need to be there. So basically, I’m always late, OR I’m always in a rush. I’m working hard to shift my time mentality and start getting ready to go earlier and then leave at least 5 minutes earlier than I would have in the past.

16. BE MORE FOCUSED. 

I’m bad for doing ten things at once and not doing a good job on any of them. This is especially true when it comes to blogging. I’ll be writing a post, checking Twitter, watching Grey’s Anatomy, and have a cat sitting on my lap. That’s not the set-up for good work. This year I want to commit to focusing. If I’m writing, then I’m writing; if I’m watching TV, then I’m watching TV. It’s so frustrating (to me and the bf) when we get three episodes into a new show, and I have no clue what’s happening because I’ve been more plugged into my phone.

17. GET IN BETTER SHAPE. 

I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with exercise. It’s not that I don’t like it; I don’t like having to wait for results. Or I had a workout regimen, but once I reach my goals, I stop and then gain all the weight back.

18. DRINK MORE WATER.

 I have a tough time drinking water, especially the amount that is recommended daily! I’m not even one of those “I don’t like the taste of water” people. I actually like water, but I don’t ever feel thirsty, so it is easy for me to forget to drink water. This goal is major for me.

19. MORE PHOTOS OF MYSELF.

 I realized my low self-esteem has been stopping me from enjoying life. I’ve always looked down on myself. I’ve always felt less than. And in today’s society, it is very easy to feel less than, especially with the impact of social media. We often compare ourselves to what we see. And because my weight is always fluctuating, I stopped taking photos of myself when I feel I look fat. Instead of being down and out about myself, I want to create a positive outlook and believe that I AM ENOUGH and that I am a total BADASS!

20. RESTART MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL. 

Not only do I want to restart my channel, but I’m also forcing myself to post 6 videos. I think Vlogging is something I won’t be comfortable doing as long as I don’t like myself. Before, I was scared that my voice was way too high and irritating to listen to. I worry about being judged and criticized with vlogging because it means you don’t like me for my physical features. I think making videos will help me with my lack of confidence.

21. FINISH MY BOOK

In 2018, I started working on my novel. I hoped to finish in 2019, but that just didn’t happen. The last three months have been quiet as far as personal progress, but I’m back to regularly working on Sundays with my girlfriends!

What do you want to tackle this new year?