Itās Christmas Day
Merry Christmas, and thank you for joining me for Blogmas! I have no idea if anyone will be reading blogs on Christmas day.
Today is a day to spend with family, so I hope youāre doing that today.
Christmas means a lot of different things to different people, and I love that. To me, itās about being around the people I love. Itās eating together. Itās love, laughter. Itās happiness and joy.
And I knew things were going to be different this year, but I didnāt realize how different until the day came. Iām glad I will be at work instead of home alone today.
Last night I tried to spend Christmas Eve with my boyfriendās family. It was awkward and uncomfortable. Mainly because everyone had already left by the time I got to the house.
When It comes to my boyfriend and his family, I feel like Iām always inviting myself over. His parents were falling asleep but didnāt want to go to bed because someone was at the house, and I just was like, gee, thanks, thatās not awkward at all. Which then is embarrassing because Iām there, and I donāt know how to say, āHey, I know I forced my presence on all of you, and now itās awkward, and I want to leave.ā
I never learn, and I never listen. My mom has told me a thousand times if you arenāt invited, donāt ask to go. And I still ask to go. I want to spend time with them, but they donāt consider me family. And my boyfriend says itās because Iām never over, but when I am over, thereās no conversation, or itās late. They want to go to bed and not play hostesses to the little girl without a family.
Last night, I just wanted my family, and I didnāt get it. I just wanted to sing carols and have warm hugs and have fun. I miss even the simplest things like watching a movie, eating, or decorating our house special.
My mom was sick this year, so she didnāt miss out on people not visiting. She was more grateful she could rest and not have to get out of bed and play host. Itās not COVID; itās just the flu. Around this time of year, either I, my mom, or my dad end up sick without fail. This year itās my momās turn.
Just some silly little videos of what my Christmas used to be.
