I am back!!!
I had a few things to deal with and a few things my brain still can’t process, but I’m back.
I’m genuinely feeling a lot better, and it might be because I got most of my Christmas shopping done. Or because I decided to spend a little money on myself. I’m a big fan of treating yourself.
I found a Mr. Coffee Iced Coffee Maker on sale and finally bought it. I have wanted one for years. I also got myself an early birthday gift while getting everyone’s Christmas gifts. Future Eryn is in for a treat. I say this because even though I knowingly fully purchased something, I usually forget what I buy or when I’m supposed to do something. Except I don’t think that’s possible this year. Since it’s not only a gift for myself but also my family.
WE’RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!!!!
I know I live in California, and going to Disney shouldn’t be all that crazy exciting, except it is. I love Disney, and it’s been years since I’ve been to Disneyland. This is also my boyfriend’s first time going to Disneyland.
Aside from the trip, I don’t even count this as a gift. I had a hard time this year picking out gifts for my nieces. I spend so much on them throughout the year. By the time Christmas comes, they already have abundant toys and clothes.
It always takes me a while to finally decide what I want to get. Because I always want my gifts to be the best. I know it’s mostly me overthinking, but I just want things to be perfect. Luckily this year will be a little easier; everyone is getting the same gift from me- a tracking number.
I also got a Christmas miracle.
I will appreciate it more than any physical gift. My biological father and I have never had a relationship. I’ve mentioned how he wasn’t there for most of my life a few times. I’ve been through all the stages with this. As a child, I was sad about it; as a teen, angry, and after living with him, I decided I couldn’t be mad or upset about something that would never change. I accepted he wasn’t going to be in my life.
He’s been trying to make more effort in the last few years, and I was very hesitant to let him in my life. Mainly because we didn’t see eye to eye on a few things about my life. All I’ve wanted from him lately is to acknowledge that I’m not a child. I’m an adult and a hard-working one at that.
I don’t know what changed, but he called me a few days ago. He apologized for many things, and while the call was awkward and uncomfortable, it meant a lot to me.