Posted in Monthly Muses

TheĀ OctoberĀ inĀ MyĀ Head

Advertisements

I’m still waiting for the weather to get the memo that we’re in October and not July or August, so in the meantime, I’ve decided to romanticize the version of autumn that lives rent-free in my head. You know, October before climate change decided to ruin the seasonal aesthetic, or at least October as I remember it from childhood.

I want crisp air, cozy sweaters, and the kind of weather that makes staying inside with a hot drink feel like a personality trait rather than a survival tactic. Is that too much to ask?

Until the weather gets its act together, here are some things that justĀ feelĀ like October to me.

  • Watching a double feature at an old movie theater.
  • Browsing a used bookstore and leaving with three books I absolutely did not need.
  • Simon & Garfunkel, old folk ballads, and melancholic indie music that makes me feel like the main character in a coming-of-age movie set in 2004.
  • A color palette of burnt orange, mustard yellow, dark brown, moss green, and burgundy.
  • Old libraries with creaky floors, dusty shelves, and the unmistakable smell of books that have witnessed some things.
  • Small towns with one Main Street. BlameĀ Gilmore Girls. Actually, blameĀ Gilmore GirlsĀ for most of this list.
  • Gilmore GirlsĀ itself. The cozy fall episodes, the town festivals, Luke’s Diner, the rapid-fire conversations, the questionable romantic decisions. All of it. I want to live in Stars Hollow for at least one autumn, preferably when the leaves are changing and nobody is sweating through their flannel.
  • Kiki’s Delivery Service, because apparently my ideal autumn involves being a young witch running a bakery in a charming seaside town.
  • Apple cider, preferably enjoyed while wearing a sweater that is three sizes too big.
  • Over the Garden Wall, because nothing says autumn quite like a little existential dread wrapped in a whimsical animated miniseries.
  • Good Will Hunting, for when I want to feel emotionally devastated by a movie while pretending I’m just appreciating the cinematography.
  • Handwritten letters, old photographs, and secondhand sweaters that make you wonder who owned them before you.
  • Forgotten towns, dusty record shops, and places that look like they haven’t changed since 1978.
  • Music that makes you miss a memory you can’t quite place.

Maybe that’s what October means to me. It’s not necessarily pumpkins on every doorstep or an endless supply of Halloween decorations. It’s a feeling. A little melancholy, a little magic, and a whole lot of romanticizing things that probably never existed quite the way I imagine them.

It’s wanting to live in a movie where the leaves are always changing, the coffee shops are always cozy, and the weather understands the assignment.

And, for the love of all things autumnal, can we please get some actual sweater weather? I’m trying to have a nostalgic, slightly mysterious, possibly insufferable fall, and sweating through it is really ruining the vibe.

Posted in Lifestyle

Stop Rewriting Old Books

Advertisements

There’s a very specific kind of rage that comes from realizing a book you remembered vividly from your teenage years has secretly been replaced with a cleaner, shinier, emotionally diluted version of itself.

Like imagine reopening a scrapbook from high school only to discover someone went through it with beige paint and HR-approved dialogue.

That’s me right now withĀ A Convenient Christmas ProposalĀ by C.J. Carmichael.

And YES I know this is a dramatic reaction to a Harlequin romance novel from 2002 but if you grew up sneaking romances way too young you understand exactly why I’m acting like this is a cultural tragedy.

Because here’s the thing: the original version was MESSY.

Not ā€œmessyā€ in the cute TikTok ā€œoops iced coffee spilled in my tote bagā€ way. I mean early-2000s paperback romance messy. Morally questionable. Slightly unhinged. The kind of plot where you pause every few chapters and whisper, ā€œgirl what is happening.ā€

The original story was about a female RCMP officer who shoots a man during a domestic violence situation. She’s suspended pending investigation. The dead man’s widow spirals into alcoholism and basically abandons the kids emotionally. The dead man’s brother — a journalist who already had tension with the cop before all this happened — steps in to help raise the children.

Then somehow, through grief, guilt, emotional repression, and the most aggressively early-2000s romantic tension imaginable, THEY GET MARRIED TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS.

Insane.

Absolutely insane.

And yet somehow it worked because the entire story revolved around this massive emotional weight hanging over everybody. The female lead literally killed the children’s father. Even if it was justified, that tension infected every interaction. The suspension mattered. The guilt mattered. The public scrutiny mattered.

It was dramatic and uncomfortable and weirdly compelling in the way old category romances sometimes were.

So tell me WHY I buy the newer edition and suddenly this woman didn’t even shoot him???

Now it takes place in Montana instead of Canada. She’s not RCMP anymore. Danny dies in a DUI crash after speeding away before she even pulls him over. She’s not suspended. She’s not publicly scrutinized. She’s basically just sad adjacent to the situation.

BABE THAT IS A DIFFERENT BOOK.

That is not a rewrite. That is witness protection for plotlines.

And the craziest part is I spent the ENTIRE first book in this series thinking maybe I was losing my mind because things felt… off. Too modern but weirdly trapped in early-2000s structure. Like everybody had contemporary sensitivities but was still speaking in Harlequin dialogue.

I literally thought I was just being dramatic.

Hector was like, ā€œMaybe you just remembered it differently.ā€

NO.

IT WAS REWRITTEN IN 2020.

WHICH EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.

Because of course in 2020 publishers were not about to rerelease a romance where the heroine is a cop who kills a man during a domestic violence incident and then falls in love with his brother while helping raise the kids. That premise suddenly became radioactive.

And listen, I get why publishers modernize things. I understand wanting stories to feel accessible to current readers. But at some point you stop updating language and start removing the literal spine of the story.

The original book was ABOUT guilt.

The rewrite is about unfortunate circumstances.

Those are not emotionally equivalent.

It honestly reminds me of movie adaptations that keep maybe three character names and a vague outline but remove the entire thing people actually connected to. LikeĀ Mickey 17. Same aesthetic. Same branding. Completely different emotional DNA from the book Mickey 7!

And maybe this is controversial but I genuinely do not think older books should be heavily rewritten and rereleased like this.

Put a disclaimer in the front. Add context. Release an updated edition separately if you want. But don’t quietly replace the original story with a sanitized version and act like they’re interchangeable.

Because fiction SHOULD reflect the time period it came from.

Even when it’s weird.

Even when it’s uncomfortable.

Even when a 2002 Harlequin romance makes you stare at the wall for twenty minutes wondering why the solution to trauma was apparently ā€œsurprise marriage.ā€

That’s part of the charm.

Older books are little time capsules. You can feel the era in them — the fears, the tropes, the moral blind spots, the chaos. And once you start sanding all that down to fit modern standards, you lose the thing that made them interesting in the first place.

Sometimes I WANT the weird version.

Sometimes I WANT the emotionally questionable plotline.

Sometimes I want books to feel like they were written by women drinking coffee at midnight in 2002 while watchingĀ Law & OrderĀ reruns and chain-smoking emotional damage into a manuscript.

And honestly? Let old books be old books.

Posted in Lifestyle

Everything Feels Lame

Advertisements

What do you complain about the most?

I complain most about how everything has changed since I was a kid, and not in a charming ā€œtime moves onā€ way, but in a loud, inconvenient, wallet-emptying way. Life used to feel simpler. Things were cheaper, expectations were lower, and fun didn’t require planning, reservations, or a subscription. Now everything costs too much, takes too much effort, and somehow comes with an app.

I miss when boredom led to creativity instead of doom-scrolling. I miss when hanging out didn’t feel like a logistical nightmare involving calendars and budgets. Even basic pleasures feel gated now, like you have to earn rest instead of just existing long enough to deserve it.

People say this is just nostalgia, and maybe it is, but that doesn’t make it wrong. SomethingĀ didĀ shift. The world feels more serious, more expensive, and less forgiving. I complain because I’m tired of pretending this version is automatically better just because it’s newer.