Last year, I answered the prompt, “How are you treating your body this month? What does your body need to feel better?” by saying I needed rest, relaxation, better meals, better sleep, and more movement.
And honestly? If we’re doing a little annual progress report, I’d say… some things have changed. Some things absolutely have not.
I am definitely eating better meals this year, so go me! One point for personal growth.
Better sleep, though? Yeah. About that.
I’m not a side sleeper. I have never been a side sleeper. And despite spending this entire pregnancy being told that I should sleep on my side, I still hate it. My body is basically like, “Oh, you want me to sleep in the position I have spent my entire life avoiding? While also being nine months pregnant? Fun.”
So better sleep is probably going to have to remain a future goal.
And really, the biggest thing my body needs right now to feel better is pretty simple:
I need to give birth.
According to the baby books, a lot of these aches and pains should start going away once the baby is actually outside of me. Of course, I’m sure they’ll be replaced by an entirely new collection of aches and pains because apparently motherhood comes with a complimentary subscription to Back Pain™.
But honestly? Fine.
I’ll take the newborn-induced exhaustion and whatever other fun little postpartum surprises are waiting for me if it means I can stop carrying an entire person around in my abdomen.
The funny thing is, though, throughout this entire pregnancy, I really have been taking better care of my body. Since finding out I was pregnant, I’ve been much more aware of when I need to slow down, rest, eat something decent, or just generally stop expecting myself to function like a normal human when I am, in fact, growing another human.
When I was staying with my parents, I was actually pretty good at relaxing. Everything outside of the little bubble of me, my parents, and their dog stressed me out, but as long as I was home with them, I was fine. I could settle into that little bubble and just… be.
Now I’m back in California and without that safety net, I know it would be really easy to fall back into my usual habits of constantly doing something, worrying about something, or convincing myself that I should be doing more.
So I’m going to have to force myself to keep relaxing.
Not “I’ll relax after I finish this one thing.”
Not “I’ll rest once everything is taken care of.”
Not “I’ll just quickly do this first.”
Actually. Relax.
Because if there is one thing pregnancy has taught me, it’s that my body is going to do what it needs to do whether I have a five-point productivity plan for the day or not.
And maybe that’s the real answer to this year’s prompt.
My body needs good food. It needs movement when I’m able. It definitely needs better sleep, although we’ll circle back to that one after the baby arrives.
But more than anything, my body needs me to stop treating rest like something I have to earn.
So, for the rest of this pregnancy and hopefully beyond, I’m going to try to be a little gentler with myself.
Even if my body is currently shaped like a tired little question mark.
