Whatās a chapter of your life youād title āThe Hard Yearsā ā and what got you through it?
If I had to give one chapter of my life a title,Ā āThe Hard Yearsā itās definitely when I was leaving las Vegas in 2019.
Not because it was the worst thing thatās ever happened to me, but because it changed me in ways I didnāt understand until years later.
When I was 21, I got kicked out of my parentsā house.
At the time, it felt like my entire world had been flipped upside down. Before all of that happened, my mom and I talked every single day. She was one of the first people Iād call if something happened, whether it was good or bad. Then suddenlyā¦ nothing.
The silence was honestly the hardest part.
People assume getting kicked out is mostly about finding somewhere to live or figuring out money, and those things are incredibly difficult. But for me, losing that daily relationship with my parents hurt more than anything else.
Looking back now, I donāt deny that I was wrong. I understand why my parents made the decision they did. At 21, I couldnāt see it. I was hurt, angry, and convinced they didnāt understand me.
Now, years later, I can admit that if I were in my parentsā position, I probably would have made the same choice.
That doesnāt mean it didnāt hurt.
Two things can be true at the same time.
So what got me through it?
Honestly, I distracted myself with life.
I worked. I spent time with friends. I focused on whatever was right in front of me because thinking about what Iād lost was too painful. I donāt know if distraction is the healthiest coping mechanism, but at the time it was the only one I had.
Little by little, things started to heal.
When I turned 22, my mom and I slowly found our way back to each other. We started talking again, and over time our relationship became strong again.
My relationship with my stepdad took a little longer. We didnāt really get back to where we used to be until I was almost 24. Healing isnāt always quick, and every relationship moves at its own pace.
Now, I donāt take either of those relationships for granted.
As Iām getting ready to become a mom myself, I think about those years differently than I used to. Parenting isnāt just about loving your child. Sometimes loving them means making decisions theyāll hate you for in the moment because you believe itās whatās best for them.
I hope I never have to make that kind of decision.
But if I ever do, I understand it in a way that 21-year-old me never could.
Those years were painful, lonely, and full of growing up faster than I wanted to. I wouldnāt want to relive them, but I also wouldnāt erase them.
They taught me accountability.
They taught me that relationships can survive even after theyāre broken.
Most importantly, they taught me that forgiveness doesnāt erase the pastāit allows you to build a future together anyway.
āThe Hard Yearsā eventually came to an end.
And now, as I prepare to start a brand-new chapter with my own little family, Iām grateful that mine found their way back to each other.