Lately, I have been having an intense and personal argument with myself. Am I oversharing online? Should I stop discussing personal issues on the blog? If I stop posting personal topics, am I doing a disservice to those I initially sought to help?
My entire life, I have always been a person who overshared.
Maybe it’s because I have ADHD, perhaps it’s because I’m a narcissist, or I am inadequate and have something to prove? Maybe it’s all of the above?
In-person, I don’t even know when I am saying too much. I thought I told people the appropriate amount of personal information. I’m way too willing to talk about any topic and be 100% honest, and I sometimes forget that’s not normal. The random person on the street doesn’t need to know that I’m a freaky bisexual who feels like a disappointment to her parents. Besides, I don’t even need to say it. They can tell that by looking at my mini rainbow Disney backpack.
Online, it’s different. It’s harder not to overshare. I want to help people going through what I’ve been through. I want to be the big sister and say, ‘I did this. Don’t make the same mistakes.’ I want to talk about my family, my depression, and my deep inner thoughts. I want to set out every part of myself neatly on the floor so others can take what they want and what they need from me.
Being a blogger meant I would need to open up about things, like my life and my thoughts and feelings on different topics. Sharing your life story online is the most entertaining kind of content to publish on a blog.
Where do I draw the line? What in my life is supposed to be mine and what is supposed to be the readers?
I enjoy people getting to know my life, my likes and dislikes, and what occurs in my general day-to-day life. I try to keep some things away from the blog. I try not to talk about my boyfriend or my family a lot. I never really asked them how they felt about me writing about them. They know naturally, at some point, they might come up but not often.
This is one of the reasons I deleted a lot of my YouTube videos. I would overshare a lot. Mainly during my life when I was living with my dad and was depressed.
Whenever I felt uncomfortable or unhappy, I would turn on my camera and vent. I was using it as a video diary. If you thought Trisha Paytas crying on their kitchen floor was terrible, this was a million times worse.
I was not too fond of the response I got to those videos—the reactions from strangers I could understand. The responses from my family are why I took them down. I wasn’t looking for attention. I was alone and trying to give myself a positive outlet. It got to the point that I eventually would record the videos and never post them. Then I just stopped expressing those emotions. Instead, I kept a smile on my face.
I don’t want to censor my feelings again. I don’t want to feel like I’m in a position where if I want to say something on here that I can’t.
Am I just overthinking this whole thing?
