Whatās the biggest risk youād like to take ā but havenāt been able to?
Hey there! I just wanted to share something with you today. Lately, Iāve been feeling like I want to break out of my comfort zone and explore new places. Iāve always had this strong desire to travel on my own, simply pack my bags, and head somewhere. You know, venture into new places, step out of my comfort zone, and break from the same old routine.
Iāve been yearning to visit New York for a while now, not to settle there but to experience the city. I would love to see a Broadway play, visit Times Square, have a touristy time, and take the subway for the first time. The thought of starting anew, packing up, and never looking back excites me. Iāve never done it, but I would enjoy exploring uncharted territories, discovering hidden gems, and experiencing different cultures. However, I was scared to travel alone due to the horror stories Iāve heard on the news about women who have found themselves in dangerous situations.
My biggest fear is not necessarily someone hurting me but getting lost, running out of money, or getting robbed. I know youāre supposed to save extra for trips, and Moreover, I hate looking stupid or drawing attention to myself. In the past, I used to avoid going to the gym because I was afraid I wouldnāt know how to use the equipment and make a fool of myself. However, I realized that every unique experience, good or bad, teaches us something worth learning. And even if you make a mistake, itās likely to be a life-changing experience.
Although I always thought about traveling with some friends, I donāt have any close ones who would like to accompany me. I even need help convincing my boyfriend to join me to visit my family, so I know going out of the state is out of the question. If I wait for others, Iāll never go anywhere. Every year, my desire to travel grows stronger. The more I yearn to do things and fail to achieve them, the more I realize that my life is unfulfilling. I feel stuck and bored, and I crave a renewed sense of vigor. I am determined to change my current situation and travel before settling down, even if my partner canāt join me. Although my finances may not allow me to embark on a grand journey of self-discovery like in āEat, Pray, Loveā or āWildā with Reese Witherspoon, I refuse to let that stop me.
Iām planning to start small by taking a few weekend trips to some new cities in California alone. I hope to become more comfortable with solo travel with each trip. In the past, I had the urge to run away, leave everything behind, and never look back. But Iāve realized that running away from problems doesnāt solve them, and most of my problems are caused by me. Even if I left, they would still follow me. Although Iām not interested in going away forever anymore, a mindful retreat focused on my soul would be incredibly beneficial at this point in my life. Traveling alone can be very liberating and empowering. Iāve read about other women who have traveled alone and how they discovered their strengths and capabilities. I want to experience that same sense of independence and prove to myself that Iām more capable than I think.
I think my desire to travel is driven by my search for a place where I belong, much like the song from Hercules. Feeling like an outsider is a common experience for many people. We all yearn to find a place where we feel at home, but unfortunately, we do not all have that opportunity. The idea that thereās a place out there where weāll be wanted and welcomed with open arms is comforting. We can embark on an adventure to explore the worldās vastness and discover more than we ever planned.
I am planning my first trip to Solvang, California, to celebrate my birthday. Wish me luck! My inspiration for this trip is Liz from āEat, Pray, Love.ā I hope to find strength in my independence and welcome new experiences, just you know, without going through a divorce. Though it may take some time, I am determined to make this dream a reality.
School is out, which means itās time to check on those goals I made for myself at the beginning of the year.
I need a little mid-year reset. This year has gone by way too fast, and I donāt remember all the goals I set for myself. I need to rethink some of the goals. I wanted to sit down and think of what I need to do to end this year in a better direction.
I spent the last six months self-sabotaging myself. I did good in school; I could have done much better. I often didnāt do my homework or turn in assignments out of laziness. I used going to school as an excuse not to post blogs or videos. I am scared of success. If I do well in school now, why couldnāt I have done this when I was going to school the first time? And if Iām not posting because of school, thatās a valid excuse. But now that schools is out. My not posting now is due to self-doubt. A lot of my self-sabotage came from self-doubt. For forever, I have felt I need to be perfect; Iām not good enough when Iām not. I missed a lot of goals this year. I missed all of them; today will be the first day I try.Ā
Iāve rewritten the goals in order of importance to me. An ideal year for me would be hitting the top 10. That requires a lot of work and change. I need to change who I am and how I see myself. I need to hold myself more accountable and not give up so easily. I say this every year and every time I have a goal that I want, so I need to focus on what I can do when days arenāt perfect. I need to create a system that will work with my ADHD.Ā
.And I have created a system. Two hours a day, I will dedicate time to my goals. This will be harder some days, and thatās okay. I will keep myself motivated by rewarding myself at the end of each month. But to keep myself honest, I wonāt be the one to reward myself. It will be my partner.Ā
I need to remind myself that I deserve to be happy. I am willing to work for what I want and have survived a lot. Iām stronger than I give myself credit for. Iām not my past. Iām doing the best I can.
What are everyday things that bring you happiness?
With all things new, as Summer approaches, there has been a lot of LEARNING for me in the past few months.
Iām working on listening to my body, asking myself what type of person I want to be and how I want to show up in the world, and letting that be the guide for the decisions that I make a. Doing this led me to return to school and spend more time with friends and family.
The thing about stress is It steals your joy!
For years, Iāve over-functioned. I take on other peopleās stress as my own and try to be helpful, ensuring everyone is okay. My problem is that I lost my ability to provide for my emotional needs. I got so out of tune with my emotions that I had breakdowns over minor things. Then I decided I was tired of having breakdowns and stopped feeling altogether. You guys know youāve seen the post.
Itās A LOT!
Iām learning that sometimes others will just be disappointed when I put my own needs first, and I have to be okay with taking care of myself so that I have enough to give to others. Who knew?!Ā The life lessons keep coming over here, donāt they?!Ā
My current self-care has been reading, but between reading for school and working. Iām too tired to read for leisure. So I try to search for small moments of joy.
Iāve been working on a list of 12 favorite everyday practices for catching joy.
12 Things That Bring Me Joy
Drinking a cup of iced coffee
Going for brunch
Spending time with my nieces and nephews
Eating a charcuterie board
Browsing in a bookstore
Having my nails done
Creating new recipes
Baking in a kitchen
Dressing up in vintage clothing
Giving people compliments
Spending quality time with my best friend
Good makeup days
I canāt wait to hear what you come up with for your own list of things that bring you JOY.
Do at least one thing a day for yourself ā your health and well-being matter!
The fact I understand my emotions and why Iām feeling them makes me the most frustrated. Most of the time, when Iām upset, Iām angry and disappointed and blame myself for what happened.
Iām trying to let go of my anger and resentment. I didnāt know I was carrying this anger until I had a few bible studies. Iām so angry at myself, my parents, and life. And having all of this emotional baggage is affecting my mental health.
Im angry after learning most of the classes I took in Sacramento were repeating courses of the ones I took in Long Beach the first time I went to school. I am angry that my stepmom, āwho knew so much more than me,ā picked my classes. I am angry I let her pick my classes. I am mad about moving to Sacramento in the first place.
Angry that I constantly give up when things get complicated. And I let myself not do something like study, fill out necessary forms, work out, or put effort into my blog or businessāone wrong decision after the other. And I donāt hold myself accountable. I allow myself to be lazy because itās easier than trying.
Angry that I constantly allow evil thoughts to win. Iām too old for school, stupid, and untrainable.
I am angry that all of these things happened because I allowed my dad and his wife put a lot of doubt in me. I let them control my life and treat me like a child instead of an adult.
I never got an apology, but I only got excuses from my dad. All my dad is good for is excuses for not being around when I was a kid, for not standing up for me when I lived with him, and for cheating on my mom.
Angry that I keep acting like a victim.
Angry, I donāt know how to fully erase them from my life without looking like the bad guy.
How do I let it go? How do I surrender this anger to god, the universe, or whatever you call it?
I think admitting that there was something more behind my depression has helped. There are many things Iām angry about that are happening now too. But these are the things Iāve been carrying with me for a few years now. These are the things I need to acknowledge before I can work on my present or my future; I need to forgive my past.
To mentally prepare for the year, I can spend all of January and even some of December planning. Usually, I donāt know my wants for the whole year in the first week of January. Nothing wrong with that. Each year is different. Some years for me, January is a rocky month, but by June, Iām like, this is my best year ever. And sometimes, itās the reverse. It really depends. This year I am controlling the narrative. So even if January is terrible, it isnāt.
It takes a lot to live the life I want. Coming from me, that probably sounds strange since I constantly complain about my life. If Iām being honest, my life isnāt that bad. It is stressful at times, but overall Iām pretty lucky. Just because things donāt work out when and how I want them doesnāt mean the end of the world.
So call it manifesting, praying, the law of attraction; same difference. Itās putting your intentions into the universe and hoping that something or someone is listening.
Before I put any energy into the universe, I meditate. I want a clear mind before I do anything. For me, it starts with thinking positively. I know that sounds lame, but it helps. Say a few affirmations and give yourself a little love. Positive thinking is soo important for mental health.
And then I question everything. What do I need? What do I need in my life, family, health, and career? What do I want? What do I want for my life? I try to be as transparent with my intentions as possible. I have to be honest about what I am willing to work towards.
After Iāve decided, I write it down. This year I made my first vision board. Usually, I write down bullet points in a journal. I should clarify this is different than the goals I share with you at the beginning of each year. Not by much, but it is different.
This might be unconventional, but I made my vision board online. I didnāt do a super intense collage. I created sections for myself for my family, health, hobbies, and fun. I put influencers and celebrities who I admire. Things I wish would happen throughout this year and in the future.
One of the reasons that not journaling really affected my life and mental state last year was that I could not see the work I put into these goals. You canāt just put it out into the universe or pray about it once and then expect all of your problems to be fixed magically. You have to work towards this.
Some questions I ask myself every month are
What am I grateful that God or the Universe has already given me?
How am I bettering myself?
What efforts am I putting into this goal? What can I do differently?
What brings you inner peace? What is it about this person, place, or thing that affects my this way?
How have my desires changed over the years?
You have to check in with yourself regularly. I like to check in once a month. Are you being negative? If you are, why? Negative energy doesnāt bring good things. And being negative allows you to miss signs around you. Itās basically self-sabotage.
One time I was looking for a new job. It was taking a while, and I was starting to feel defeated. I remember complaining to everyone about how I needed a new job and more money. When I finally got an interview, I jumped at the chance. The company was sketchy, but I didnāt care; I still went. And even after going to the first interview, they scheduled a second interview. I was still like this is super sketchy, but I was also being negative like this is probably the only thing Iām going to get. After that first interview, I got a call from a different, not sketchy company asking if I wanted to interview. I was being salty about them passing on me the first time I applied, so I turned it down. I returned to the sketchy place, did the second interview, and got the job. It was a pyramid scheme. Self-sabotage is real.
You have to trust your gut and trust the process. You know what is right for you. You know when what youāre doing is good for you as a person. I refuse to believe people are out of touch with their bodies and donāt know whatās happening. The little happy tingles I get when I eat sugar or finish a book are the same ones I get after a good workout.
Now when it comes to being one with the universe and making sure that the one game of MASH you played where you lived in a mansion married to Calum from 5SOS with eight kids comes true, driving a white Bronco. You have to do three things: be realistic, put in work, and trust the process. Thereās no time limit on manifesting. Something I wanted and worked toward years ago is coming true now.
Making a dream into reality begins with what you have, not with what you are waiting on.
T.F. Hodge
Iām a little impatient and controlling with just about everything. Sometimes, I donāt notice things happening until itās too late. Which doesnāt always allow me to show proper gratitude.
My faith is a powerful motivation and guide. I grew up hearing Godās got a plan. Being an adult made me realize that our plans may not always align. I know I want something now, but perhaps Iām not ready for it emotionally, mentally, financially, or physically. I donāt expect to get some prophetical dream that will tell me Godās goal for me. I would love one, but life doesnāt work that way.
So let us take a deep breath and breathe out all our negative thoughts about what the future has in store for us.
Iām excited to set some goals for this year. And yes, there are 23 goals, and this will be my last year doing 20+ goals. Starting next year, 20 will be the max goal I have.Ā
I wasnāt super excited to have 23 goals this year, but I couldnāt determine which ones to cut from my list. Iām already emotionally attached to all of them. But I am trying to focus mainly on thirteen specific goals; the rest are just things I want to try to do.
You will see a lot of things from previous years on here because these are things I feel I need to work on more.Ā
Letās get into it, shall we?
1. 2023 Reading Challenge
On Barnes & Nobleās Instagram, they posted a 52-week book reading challenge. I want to combine that with the alphabetical challenge, which makes it much more complicated, and find a way to read the nine books I purchased when Barnes & Nobleās had 50% off all hardcovers.
2. Practice Mindfulness
I plan to meditate and get in the right headspace a few moments a day. I want to be aware of what Iām doing without being overwhelmed. I aim to step back from my thoughts and watch them and control them rather than them controlling me.
3. Staying Consistent
Whether at work, on this blog, or even with my diet, I want to be consistent. Otherwise, Iāll abandon things without realizing it. I feel like this may become a problem when Iām uninspired or upset about not seeing results, and I need to prepare for that and work around it.
4. Get Back into Journaling
Journaling helps me control my thoughts and emotions; I feel super stressed without journaling. Some days Iām just feeling a lot of things and I donāt always know how to express it.
5. Eliminate One Bad Habit
I have tons of bad habits, and itās time to break them. I didnāt notice them until they began affecting my daily life. Mostly the overspending, slouching, procrastinating, negative self-talk, overthinking, failing to say no to people, and eating poorly. Iām sure there are more.
6. Write 100 Blogs
I think I can do it. I wrote over 50 blogs last year, so now I believe I can bust out 100 posts. Is this false confidence? Absolutely. But the new year, new me baby, and confidence are where itās at.
7. Strengthen Relationships
This year I want to be there for the people in my life. Sometimes it feels like I donāt reach out unless it is a holiday or beneficial. And I want people to stay in my life, so Iāll start making the first move.
8. Create a Regular Exercise Routine
I want to end this year being smaller. I donāt need to reach a specific weight point, but I would like to be smaller. And even if not smaller, just more physically fit.
9. Prioritize My Happiness
I love making other people happy, but there comes the point where I also need to make myself happy. I need to acknowledge that it is not selfish to fill myself with joy. Give me what I genuinely want and need emotionally.
10. Speak Better Spanish
Do I speak better Spanish today than at the beginning of 2022? Heck yea, I do, but itās still very elementary level. Iām nowhere near conversational in my Spanish. And surprisingly, I am better at writing and reading Spanish than I am at speaking it. The goal is to be able to have a conversation.
11. Another No Buy Month
When I had the no-buy month, I felt the most relaxed. No looming worry about where money was going or shock over how much I spent on food. It was a simpler time. Also, it helped control my impulse purchases.
12. Pay Off ALL Debt
My debt isnāt all that bad. I know people with hundreds of thousands in debt. Luckily I donāt have that, but when you live in California and barely make above minimum wage, it is like youāre living paycheck to paycheck, so paying off debt seems to be a little more complicated.
13. Focus On My Business
I announced that I would sell Ice Cream, but I never did. I got cold feet about actually doing something. This year is different; I have plans. I want to have a spot at Smorgasburg, Los Angeles. I want to get a business license. I want to do something with my hands that makes me proud.
14. Sew A Costume
I keep saying I will sew a costume, but I never do. Between the last-minute planning and the mental breakdown about my weight by the time Halloween comes, I donāt even have a costume more often than not. This year is different. I want a costume. I want to be Anastasia from the 1997 cartoon.
15. Reflect On Each Month
I would really like to just get in touch with my feelings and remember what happened each month. What did I learn from each month? What were the high and low points? How can I make the next month better?
16. Spend More Time Outside
Iām never outside, and I hate that. My skin looks pale and even a little sick because I donāt remember the last time I was outside for longer than just walking to or from the car. I mean, I do, but that was back last March. Maybe Iāll try to do the 1000 hours outside challenge.
17. Take a Skill Class
I would love to try something new. I have been thinking about doing a yoga class or an art class. Just something to break up the norm, and you know, on The Sims, every time one of them takes a skill class, they always feel more inspired and focused. So, Iād love for a life that imitates art moment and would like to see if it works in real life.
18. Enforce Boundaries
I have a hard time setting personal boundaries as well as acknowledging others. It is not by choice, but it is something I need to be aware of and respect. I think for myself if I start to
19. Be Tidier
I want to declutter and organize my living space and life. In books, a characterās mental state is represented by their living space. I want a clean mind and a clean home. I plan to spend 25 minutes a week cleaning. This isnāt a lot, but for a person like me who procrastinates and is constantly tired, 5 minutes is more than a lot of time.
20. Have a Family Dinner Once A Month
I want to prioritize being with my family. My family is always doing something, and I never see them.
21. Fix Things Iāve Been Avoiding.
My house needs some TLC, and Iāve been saying Iāll get to it, and then I never do. Mainly because itās so expensive but also because itās all things that are for looks and not function. But they need to be done. So no more procrastinating.
22. Save for a car
I know this is always on my list. But this year, I mean it. For the last few years, I didnāt want to drive at all. I was scared to drive, but then I was forced to because I was house-sitting in a completely different city and had to go to work; Uber would have been way too expensive. And now I like driving. Iām still super anxious about it, but I feel better.
23. Volunteer
Last year I made more excuses about not having time to volunteer and once again donated money. It feels like just giving money is a cop-out. It feels like hereās money go away. And thatās not even close to how I think about giving. So I would like actually to do something for my community
Itās already the middle of the year, so itās time to reevaluate my 2022 goals. This year has been challenging. One thing after another, Iām starting to feel like I canāt keep up.
1 . WORKING LESS
This goal changed. I wanted to work less to spend time with family. I could get a new job and start having consistent hours and the weekends. It feels like Iām working fewer hours than I am still working 40hrs a week.Ā
2. READING MORE BOOKS
Between reading physical books and downloading Kindle Unlimited, I can gladly say I have read 33 books this year. I need to branch out and read books that arenāt just fiction because Iāve started to get bored with fiction, but I also donāt find any other genre interesting.Ā
3. WORKING OUT MORE
I forgot I put this as an actual goal. I know Iāve been mentioning for a while that I have wanted to lose weight every day for the past two years. Well, I finally got myself a gym membership last week. I know I could have worked out at home, but Iāve rarely been the type to find motivation at home.Ā
4. SHOPPING BAN FOR 30 DAYS
May was the month I picked for my 30day shopping ban, and I loved it. I wasnāt stressed about money as much as I usually am. Did I want to go to Starbucks?Ā Hell Yes!!!!!!Ā Did I want to go shopping? Of course! Iām not a minimalist at all. The impulse I have to hit the ābuyā button is so intense sometimes. Shopping is how I deal with challenging emotions. But after a while, I kind of just stopped craving those things. I only recently went to Marshallās to go shopping, and instead of buying clothes like I usually would, I just restocked my skincare.Ā
5. LEARN TO SEW
Going to Ren Faire made me realize how much I needed to learn to sew on a machine. I know how to hand sew. I can hem my pants and fix a loose button but wouldnāt be able to make an entire outfit. I need to learn to sew on a machine. With Halloween around the corner, Iāve decided to make my own Halloween costume. I want to be either Snow White or Donald Duck. I know the outfit will probably be not the best, but it will be practice for when I finally decide to make a better outfit for Ren Faire.Ā
6. SPEAK BETTER SPANISH
I still canāt have entire conversations with my inlaws yet, but I can at least understand what they are saying better. I know more words in Spanish, and I can say complete sentences. I think if I keep practicing, maybe by the end of the year, I could probably start speaking to them in Spanish; I still donāt feel confident in my pronunciations.Ā Ā
7. AT LEAST 50 BLOG POSTS THIS YEAR
Iāve currently written 23 this year and plan to write at least once a week and a blog a day for October and December, so I think I can meet my goal. If I write a blog weekly, there would be 27 blogs alone, making me have 50 blogs. My biggest problem is just staying on top of it. I keep letting my life get in the way.Ā
8. SPEND LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA
I donāt use social media at all, but I may have to retract this goal if I want to be a better blogger and vlogger and eventually start my podcast. Iām going to have to be more engaged on social media. I have to start posting more. I have to promote myself and the blog. I started an ice cream business, and Iāve done nothing even to let people know I have an ice cream business. I canāt have a business if no one knows it exists.
9. MASTER MAKING COFFEE AT HOME
Not only have I mastered making coffee at home, but Iāve also mastered making coffee in my jobās breakroom. Iāve learned how to make my own iced raspberry chai latte. I am super disappointed I havenāt found more make-at-home recipes. Raspberry chai lattes are pure heaven. I have been very good about not stopping for coffee. I drink way less coffee now as well. Before, on an average day, I would drink about 64oz of iced coffee and sugar. Now I drink probably 16oz total.Ā
10. LEARN TO USE MY CAMERAS
Iāve improved using my iPhone to take pictures and record videos. I just ended up helping a friend make TikTok videos and recorded most of them on my iPhone. I still have not picked up my fancy vlog camera. I havenāt touched that camera in years. It feels wrong to pick up that camera for pictures when I know how good it can be to make videos with it.Ā
11. DO SOMETHING NICE FOR MYSELF EVERYDAY
Giving myself time to relax and read has been nice. I allow myself to focus on something other than work or my housing situation. I allow myself not to be stressed or worried. And Iām a high-strung person, so not being stressed is hard. I would love to lie and say I donāt feel stressed when I read, but I do. I get stressed and anxious and second-hand embarrassment when characters do dumb things to when things in the story get intense. I love every moment of it.Ā
12. KEEP A MINIMALIST WARDROBE
As a person who likes shopping for fun but is also stress-shops, not buying clothes has been like not breathing. But I forced myself not to buy clothes and acknowledged that shopping instead of dealing with emotions isnāt what Iām supposed to do. I had to realize I had too many clothes. I forced myself to Marie Kondo my entire closet. It was the throwing away part that was harder than admitting I didnāt want things anymore. I started to feel like a hoarder. Expect less like the little mermaid and more like the A&E tv show.Ā
13. FIX THE THINGS IāVE BEEN NEGLECTING
Iām still neglecting things. My house is falling apart, and I literally canāt be bothered to fix it, which is not true but also like not not true. I will admit the house is a garbage can on fire, so sometimes I donāt see the point in trying to fix anything. Mostly because I know no one else cares how the house is.Ā
14. COOK THROUGH AN ENTIRE COOKBOOK
I ordered a cookbook and was going to do this back in March or April or some month early in the year, and I tried so hard to want to cook through it. The book was boring, and some of the recipes sounded nasty. Like, I literally hate the idea of eating unseasoned boiled chicken, and the fact that it was one of the main dishes didnāt give me much hope for the rest of the book. But today, I was given a new cookbook book that seems promising. So letās not lose hope just yet. I never planned to cook through an entire cookbook this year to start the self-appointed challenge.Ā
15. EXPLORE MY STATE MORE
I have seen less of California this year than I would like. But I have seen a lot more of Nevada. Iāve already been to Vegas 3 times this year and plan to go again in September. As for California? Iāll get to it eventually.Ā
16. CREATE A BETTER BUDGET
Now that I have a new job, this is more crucial than ever. Because I need to start saving and planning my checks accordingly since I get paid on specific days of the month instead of every two weeks. My most significant expenses are Uber and my phone bill outside of rent. And since I canāt change my rent, I can only try changing everything else.Ā
17. TRY TO BE MORE AWARE OF WHAT I SAY
I must be aware of what I say because I talk to people all day. Itās not always formal, but Iām working on that part too. Iām constantly trying to explain things without sounding condescending or rude. And as a blunt person, itās hard sometimes. But I take a minute and think of a different way to say something.Ā
18. SAVE FOR A CAR
I hate how I havenāt put a single dollar toward a car. Every time I try to say I get hit with other shit that needs money. It seems like my bills are constantly increasing.Ā
19. VOLUNTEER
I donāt believe in helping others if you canāt help yourself, and for the past few months, Iāve been barely keeping my head above the water. I now have some stability in my life. I will most definitely make a harder effort to volunteer soon.Ā
20. RESTART MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
I need to pull the trigger. I need to set up my camera and just record. It isnāt that hard to make a video. Iāve done it multiple times before. And then I start to feel all weird about vlogging. Iāve cried while talking to the camera, but I feel funny being happy talking to it? Makes no sense.Ā
21. BE OKAY NOT BEING PERFECT
Never!!! No, Iām trying to restart therapy and get to the root of where my perfectionist mentally comes from. Mostly because Iāve always known Iām not perfect but hate myself daily for not being perfect.Ā
22. FOCUS ON MY BOOK
Does it count as focusing on my book if I shelved my original book idea and started working on something completely different? No, oh, okay. Then I guess I will have to work on both books. Maybe that way, Iāll finally be inclined to finish one of them.Ā
Am I disappointed I didnāt complete more goals this far into the year? Yes, because I feel like I should have been more proactive. I make these goals to better myself in some way. I donāt make these goals just for shits and giggles.Ā
On the other hand, Iām not disappointed for not doing more. Things donāt always go as planned, and Iāve had some significant life changes, and those things took priority. My mental health also took precedence this year. And I have to remind myself that my goals have changed. Some things arenāt seen as a priority anymore, and other things are. The things on this list are things I thought I wanted before this year started. I donāt have to force myself to check off every little thing I put on this list.Ā
Most of the goals Iāve completed on this list I didnāt do with goals in mind; they came kind of unconsciously.
Happy New Year, everyone! The first day of 2022 is officially here, and what better way to kick it off than with a resolution or two?
Last year I was so scared to make resolutions and goals. I was scared of what the future had for me as if I had no control. I donāt have any control over what happens in my life. I plan to control what I can by focusing on goals that I know are more realistic. Iām tired of letting fear stop me from being who I want to be.Ā
Ā Every time I plan out my goals or resolutions, itās me trying to figure out how to change my life for the better.
Here are 22 of my goals for 2022 to give inspiration for your own
1 . WORK LESS
I donāt have a work-life balance. Iām always working. I realized how many things I missed and how many things I barely got to do by luck. Iām going to request the time off when I need to be with my friends and family. Iām going to be very intentional with planning time for my family.
2. READING MORE BOOKS
I want to read at least 12 books this year. I donāt seem to know how to read anymore. That sounds wrong. Let me rephrase this. I find myself buying many books but not reading a lot of books. And Iāve also come to see if I am reading; it is not reading critically. Reading used to be engaging. I used to annotate my books.
3. WORKING OUT MORE
I used to be in a place where I was comfortable being in a gym alone. I used to go to the gym without fail at least three times a week. I was happy with my fitness journey. Iām slowly getting back into it but doing the terrain run made me realize how out of shape I am now compared to before lockdown. Iām excited to be back to the level of fitness I was before.
4. SHOPPING BAN FOR 30 DAYS
I spend too much money. I have been trapped in a vicious cycle of work-spend-debt. I spend too much money, so then Iām in debt. Meaning I have to work to get myself out of debt. Iām a shopaholic. Most of my money is spent on coffee, makeup, clothing, and things for new hobbies that I eventually abandoned.Ā
5. LEARN TO SEW
Technically it would be relearning how to sew. I used to sew and crochet. As I mentioned, one of my goals is to lose weight. A part of losing weight is buying a whole new wardrobe. But I just said Iām giving myself a shopping ban. See my dilemma. If I could give my current clothes alterations, I could keep my cute closet, have clothes that fit, and not buy new clothes.Ā
6. SPEAK BETTER SPANISH
My three-year-old niece speaks better Spanish than I do. I want to communicate with my boyfriendās family. I want to go to their house without feeling left out. I feel like knowing Spanish would make things a lot easier, even in my job.Ā
7. AT LEAST 50 BLOG POSTS THIS YEAR
I have so many blog ideas for the following year. 50 is not a lot when you think about it. If I were only to write one blog a week, that would be 52 posts alone. So I want to push myself to post once a week (not including months when I plan to post every day)Ā Ā
8. SPEND LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA
I spend a lot of time on TikTok and Instagram. Iād rather focus my time on something more productive. How am I supposed to read all the books I want to read and make awesome blog content when I lay in bed for 2 hours just on my phone?Ā
9. MASTER MAKING COFFEE AT HOME
The amount of money I spend at Starbucks is crazy. Thereās a Starbucks at my job, and the employees there joke that I only go to work to afford my Starbucks. I got myself an iced coffee maker to make all the iced coffee I want without having to spend $15 daily.
10. LEARN TO USE MY CAMERASĀ
Iām genuinely bad at using cameras. I have a vlogging camera and a Fujifilm Instax camera, and I donāt use either. Mostly because I donāt know how to take pictures or videos. My boyfriend set up his camera, and all I had to do was hit the button, and the second I touched it, the whole thing became blurry.Ā
11. DO SOMETHING NICE FOR MYSELF EVERYDAY
Doing something nice for myself doesnāt have to cost money or take up time. I want to appreciate myself and give myself the love I deserve. Wearing a panda hydrating face mask, taking some time to color, or dancing in my kitchen are all free and bring me joy.
12. KEEP A MINIMALIST WARDROBE
I want to lessen my closet. I have so many clothes I donāt wear. My job should be getting me a uniform soon, which should help me get rid of some clothes. I want to keep the basics and interchangeable items, so I donāt have to constantly buy new clothes.
13. FIX THE THINGS IāVE BEEN NEGLECTING
I wish I could update my entire house because itās falling apart, but I donāt have the money to do that, nor do I want to when my roommates would just destroy the house again. My bedroom window is cracked, and my ceiling fan decided to kill itself in august. I donāt feel safe knowing my window is broken and could easily be used to break into my house. Yet Iāve left it alone for the past year.
14. COOK THROUGH AN ENTIRE COOKBOOK
This is all because I recently rewatched Julie & Julia. I remember saying I would love to cook through an entire cookbook, and my boyfriend said, well, why donāt you. At first, I tried to make excuses, but the more I thought about it, I couldnāt come up with any reasons for why I shouldnāt.Ā
15. EXPLORE MY STATE MORE
After moving back to California, I realized how little I know about California and how little of it Iāve seen. Iāve never been to San Diego or Catalina Island. There are so many places to visit in California. I would love to go to Lassen Volcanic National Park, Joshua Tree, Big Sur, and hike the Hollywood sign.Ā
16. CREATE A BETTER BUDGET
I used to think having a budget meant going on a spending diet. Keeping a tight budget and not going over a certain amount. And I will be doing that when I do my no-buy month, but a regular budget is needed because my boyfriend and I plan to merge our finances. We need to see when money is taken from our accounts, how much, and what adjustments we need to make to help us save more.
17. TRY TO BE MORE AWARE OF WHAT I SAY
I am a sincere person. Iām also very blunt. People who donāt know me just assume Iām mean or rude. Iām not rude or mean, I promise. I just grew up in a household where speaking your mind wasnāt a bad thing. Iām trying to unlearn that behavior and learn to think before I speak. I would love to not say hurtful things by accident. Iād probably have more friends if I knew what I was saying.
18. SAVE FOR A CAR
I need a car. A few things have deterred me from buying a car. Thereās no parking where I live, and two, car insurance for people under 25 is crazy expensive for full coverage. But after spending $400 on uber, and ended up late to work more often than not due to few drivers. Iād rather spend that money on a car note and insurance. I have okay credit, but itās still considered new credit, so no one offers me loans. If I save $5,000 for a down payment on a car, I can get a newer car.Ā
19. VOLUNTEER
I found a place to volunteer at. I am going to make time in my life to actually help people. Even if I donāt physically do any work, I still try to give to a shelter. I know that some places need the money more than they need extra hands, and I can respect that.Ā
20. RESTART MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
I want to give it one last try. I donāt want my youtube to just be me crying. I want it to be my recipes and adventures and show off my personal growth.Ā Ā
21. BE OKAY NOT BEING PERFECT
I felt that I had to be perfect Eryn at work, at home, and in my relationship for a while. And for a few years, I dealt with the guilt of not being perfect. When I quit school and when I moved in with my family. It made me try even harder to be perfect, and I recently realized that I wouldnāt always be perfect. I work 40+ hrs at work, and my family expects me to take care of the house and clean up after everyone. Iām learning to accept that, and Iām learning to stop letting my family feel like a less-than.Ā
22. FOCUS ON MY BOOK
I donāt want to finish it this year. I want to pour all of the focus, the care, and love I have for this story into it. I donāt want it to be just another checklist that I failed to mark off. I want my emotions to be felt in it. All of my favorite books made me cry and laugh and feel something. I want to be able to do that within my own writing. I used to feel silly when I was growing up crying at books or feeling second-hand embarrassment for a character. Now, as an adult, thatās what I look forward to.Ā
If weāre talking body- my body that is- I hate it.
No, hate is not too strong a word. Ever since I was young, Iāve felt discomfort with my body- Iām not transgender or transexual. Iām just physically and mentally uncomfortable in my body.
Iāll go about my day. Iāll feel fine, then out of nowhere; I feel stress and sick to the stomach mentally, and uncomfortable and uneasy.
Sometimes I feel like I was never meant to exist in the first place.
But lately, I feel really, really uncomfortable in my body. I feel super terrible about my weight. Iām starting to think my sister is right about being fat being my only personality trait. What else do I have going for me?
So I was recently looking at different ways to build confidence, and someone suggested a photo shoot. Now, if you know me, you know terrible at taking pictures. Not just like being behind the camera but in front of it too. Anything with the camera-count me out!! Thatās one of the reasons why I really stopped doing YouTube and why I havenāt posted on my Instagram in like six months.
I definitely want to feel comfortable in my body again. I like to eat with no shame, but I lack self-control. When I am very emotional because I donāt want to burden anyone, Iāll eat rather than discuss my feelings. With that said, I donāt know what to do with my life. My family has a history of bad health, and Iām over here not taking care of my body, which makes my health risk even higher.
I donāt drink enough water or eat healthy enough. Letās not get me started on working out. I had to cancel my personal training. This sucks because I finally got rid of the misconception was you only exercised to lose weight. Iād start a gym membership or look some wild āhow to lose 30lbs in 30 secondsā on Pinterest. Then, beat myself up when it would fail. Now, I equate exercise with movement and movement with feeling good in my skin. Exercise isnāt just for my physical health but also for my mental health. My body & brain havenāt been feeling the best lately since I canāt afford to go to the gym. Working out at home is not the same.
Iām trying to exercise at home but not having someone guide me and motivate me is one of the many reasons I failed to keep off the weight before. I am going to try to believe in myself and accept that its going to be different but not bad. Tomorrow starts a new physical journey, using exercise and food to feel better.
Iām always going to hate my body. So Iām not calling this a self-love journey; Iām starting more like a self-tolerant journey.
Anyway, hereās a picture dump of all the pictures I was too scared to post on insta.
Also, it didnāt help I got asked if I was pregnant a lot since I started posting on my Instagram.
Do you remember the resolutions you set this year? To be completely honest, I donāt even recall all of them. But, it got me thinking: itās time to revisit 2020 goals.
So, of course, I had to reread them. If you arenāt familiar with my goals, either go ahead and read them here.
I asked myself two questions about the blogs I didnāt complete.
Number one, Does this resolution still matter to me?Ā
Thereās no reason to work towards goals that arenāt relevant to you anymore. Also, change the resolutions if you realize that your priorities have shifted.
After I determined if my goals were still important, I asked what steps have I taken -if any- towards said goals?Ā
If youāve been slacking, acknowledge that, but donāt be too hard on yourself. Life gets in the way; we canāt do everything all the time.Ā
Also, determine if your goals are realistic.Ā
I completed a lot more of my goals for 2021 than I initially thought.Ā
somethings I did that helped me was byĀ
Breaking each resolution or goal into little steps.
organizing them by least to most important
1 . GET MY DRIVERS LICENSE.Ā
I passed on my first time. My original appointment was rescheduled due to covid. But as soon as I could go to the DMV, I did, and your girl got her license.
2. CREATE A MONTHLY BUDGET.Ā
I really need to start saving better. This year has been chaotic. First, I had to move, and then I changed jobs. So right now, Iām struggling to even have money in my account without even spending it like crazy. So hopefully, that will change now that Iām going to have a better job.
3. CREATE A MORNING ROUTINE (And Actually Stick To It!)Ā
There was a while when I was going to work at 4am, and now that has stopped, I still get up early, and I actually have a routine down, and Iām pleased with it. Although, of course, somedays I still take forever to get out of bed, the majority of my days, Iām up and about two hours before my alarms go off.
4. ELIMINATE ONE BAD HABIT.
Iām sure I technically removed a terrible habit, but I donāt see it. Iām still biting my nails, cussing too much, and smoking. But I am doing all of those things less than I was a year ago.
5. COMMIT TO (ALMOST) DAILY WRITING.Ā
Iāve been writing and posting more. Before, I would have nothing written and try to rush a post. Now, I have the post written and need to upload them. I feel this has been super therapeutic for me. I used to worry so much about my blog, and I feel that Iām not as stressed about it because I post more consistently.
6. SPEND MORE QUALITY TIME WITH HECTOR.
We started scheduling dates, and this has literally saved our relationship. We do see each other without planning things. Still, we keep a calendar with our workdays and any events on it to know when we will actually get to see each other. Welcome to adult dating. But maybe if weāre lucky, we will be getting an apartment together soon, which will def help.
7. PAY OFF ALL CREDIT CARDS.Ā
It took a while, but I was able to pay off all of my old credit cards. At first, I wasnāt going to mark this off because I included the new card that I used to buy myself a new vacuum? How boring! But I decided Iām taking this as a W. Honestly, this is the first time I have to pay off cards. I didnāt release the interest I had would be more than my freaking credit limit. Reminder to self: pay off cards as you go.Ā
8. BUY A JOURNAL AND COMMIT TO 5 MINUTES A DAY OF WRITING.Ā
Tried it didnāt like it. Trying to write in a journal felt tiresome. Maybe, I didnāt take it seriously enough? After a while, it felt more like a chore than a way to compose my thoughts. I donāt feel the need to reexamine every part of my days. Iād rather share my experience and what Iāve learned from them vs reflect on how the barista who handled my coffee said my name. Like I have anxiety I already do that.
9. MAKE SELF CARE A PRIORITY.Ā
I have no energy for self-care. Aside from getting more sleep and drinking more water, Iām still super stressed and anxious and canāt seem to say no to people. I love telling other people how important it is to self-care, then turn around and treat my body like itās a trash can.
10. KEEP A REGULAR SLEEP SCHEDULE.Ā
I got tired of taking melatonin or some type of sleeping aid. So I made a habit of going to sleep. Itās a terrible habit. I force my body every day to just work itself until itās exhausted. Thatās how I forced myself to get a sleep schedule. Who knew sleeping at appropriate times so I can get up and leave my problems works wonderfully?
11. DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE.Ā
As Iāve said before, Iām a creature of habit. I donāt like changes or surprises, but Iām always willing to try something once. I havenāt had the opportunity as of yet to just try something crazy. But thereās still a whole half a year left, so who knows what can happen.Ā
12. DO MORE FOR MY COMMUNITY:Ā
Just like every other year, I have yet found time to volunteer. But, I have donated to a few charities, which is still something. If donating to charity is the only way you can do more for your community, thatās great.Ā I also think sometimes you have to actually get your hands dirty to make a difference.
13. MEDITATE AND PRACTICE MINDFULNESS EVERY DAY.Ā
The more I try to destress, the more stressful my life gets. I think a change will come in my life hopefully soon, and Iāll be able to meditate as much as I want, but this is low on my to-do list for now. That said, I still try to practice mindfulness.Ā
14. SPEND MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS.Ā
I recently reached out to some of my estranged family and was able to connect with them. I plan to keep in contact with them and try to revisit them soon. Iāve also gotten to spend more time with my boyfriendās family. Iām still a crappy friend because I donāt contact some of my friends, but I just feel like Iām annoying.Ā
15. STOP BEING LATE FOR EVERYTHING.Ā
Iāve definitely gotten better, and Iām not as late as I usually am. But if itās something I donāt want to go to, I still show up super late. And sometimes Iām on time, and my boyfriend is late. Seriously my friends ask us if we will arrive on time or on āHector and Erynā time.Ā
16. BE MORE FOCUSED.Ā
I really had to be strict with myself. I had to give myself a routine to make sure I knew when it was time to write and when it was time to watch tv or do something else. It was hard at first, but now I feel more comfortable focusing on one thing at a time.Ā
17. GET IN BETTER SHAPE.Ā
I actually got myself a personal trainer in March. He has helped me learn how to use machines and just helped me feel comfortable and confident in doing workouts by myself. When we started, and he gave me āhomework,ā I felt silly being in a gym alone, and now when I go by myself, I donāt even notice other people.Ā
18. DRINK MORE WATER.
Ā I downloaded a water reminder. How it started was every hour on the hour, I force myself to drink water. But I basically conditioned myself now to begin drinking water every time my phone gets a notification. I still donāt feel thirst which I donāt know if thatās normal or not, but at least now Iām not dehydrated.Ā
19. MORE PHOTOS OF MYSELF.
My original reason to start taking pictures was to find a positive outlook to know that I AM ENOUGH and that I am a total BADASS! so I started the plan on making myself a collage wall. have you seen how expensive these wall collage kits are? $50 for a partial kit!!!! No, Thank you. I have a printer for pictures that I can find online, and Walmart photos start at .09 cents.
20. RESTART MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.Ā
I want to lie and say I havenāt started making videos because I donāt feel comfortable recording videos. But I havenāt tried. I was super excited to restart vlogging, and then I never even gave it a chance. I think this is something Iāll have to either force myself to start and at least give it one more honest chance or just give up altogether.Ā
21. FINISH MY BOOK
I had a great start at the beginning of the year and had started writing so much, and then life got in the way. I think this is something Iāll have to wait for and see how it goes. It might take another year for me to complete it, or I might just get hit with a big idea and motivation forĀ NaNoWriMo.Ā
Now, thereās still plenty of time left in 2021 to accomplish what we want to achieve. Letās do this!
