The 4th of July always seems to catch me off guard! One moment I’m just trying to stay cool and hydrated, and the next—boom—flags are flying everywhere, and I can hear fireworks popping in the neighborhood before the sun even sets.
Classic, right?
A Love-Hate Kind of Holiday
I’ll be honest: I have mixed feelings about the 4th. On one hand, I love a reason to gather with friends, fire up the grill, and eat those rocket-shaped popsicles that taste like childhood summers. On the other hand, the word “freedom” doesn’t always sit easily with me.
As a Black and Hispanic woman in America, that word holds layers. It reminds me that freedom—real, full freedom—hasn’t always included people who look like me or come from families like mine.
Yes, I’m White-Passing—and That Doesn’t Erase My Story
I want to name something important here: I’m very white-passing. And I know that’s shaped how I move through the world.
I grew up in Long Beach and experienced colorism from an early age. I saw how my lighter skin gave me certain advantages in how I was treated—but that “benefit” came at a cost. I was often made to feel like I didn’t truly belong in either of my cultures. I wasn’t “enough” to be fully embraced by one side, and not quite accepted by the other.
That internal tug-of-war is real. And even though being white-passing has protected me in certain spaces, it’s also made me feel invisible. Still, that doesn’t erase my heritage, my experiences, or how deeply I feel the issues affecting my communities.
(That’s a whole blog post for another day.)
When “Politics” Gets Personal
My partner is Hispanic too—his family has roots in Honduras. My grandmother didn’t become a U.S. citizen until 2011. And my stepdad, who was born here in the ’70s, would likely be called an “anchor baby” by people who never stop to consider the full story behind that term.
So when I hear about immigration crackdowns, family separations, or politicians debating who “deserves” to be here—it doesn’t feel like a policy issue. It feels like they’re talking about my family.
It’s Not “Just Politics” Anymore
It’s an unsettling time. And while I know Trump’s policies may outlast his presidency, I’m honestly struggling with how to feel patriotic without it feeling like I’m aligning with his harmful rhetoric. It’s not just because the Fourth of July falls during a particularly heavy time in the news cycle. The troubling headlines seem to underline just how much his misogynistic, racist, and xenophobic rhetoric is affecting—and will continue to affect—people in real, harmful ways.
At this point, why should I celebrate a country that, at best, thinks I don’t deserve full rights and, at worst, wants me dead? How can I stand for freedom when so many people, including people I love, are actively being dehumanized and targeted?
I usually steer clear of political talk on this blog—not because I’m indifferent, but because I believe everyone’s perspective is shaped by their unique histories and values. However, there are moments when the line between politics and basic morality becomes impossible to ignore.
With Trump back in office, the fear and hostility we’ve felt before are only intensifying. The policies. The language. The way people feel emboldened to say things that were once kept in the shadows. When those in power question the worth, safety, and belonging of the people you love, it stops being about differing opinions. It’s personal. It’s painful. And it’s exhausting.
So when I look at the flag and think about freedom, it feels more complicated than ever before.
Still, I Choose to Hold Space for Joy
But even with all the frustration, I refuse to let this negative, though very real, thinking take over my life. It can be exhausting, but I refuse to let it be the only lens through which I view the world. Today is just another excuse to come together, to find the community we need more than ever. Whether or not I feel fully aligned with the flag or the fireworks, I’m still going to hold space for the things that matter.
This year, I’ll be working on the 4th of July. No backyard BBQ. No sparklers. But on the way home, I’ll probably roll the windows down, turn up “American Spirit” by Thomas Rhett a little too loud, and let myself feel the breeze. That small ritual reminds me that even when things feel broken, we can still find moments of peace and connection—moments that celebrate what’s worth keeping. Because we need to come together. We need to laugh. We need to share stories, even in the middle of everything that’s wrong. And somehow, that keeps me going.
However You’re Spending the Day…
Whether you’re clocking in for a shift, lighting fireworks with family, or just sitting with your own thoughts—I’m thinking of you.
We’re all doing the best we can. Navigating complex feelings. Trying to find meaning. And honestly? That’s enough.
Happy 4th of July. Be safe, be kind, and take care of yourself—and each other. ❤️💙
And finally… happy birthday Haymitch Abernathy.
And screw you, Suzanne Collins, for making Reaping Day fall on his birthday.
