Posted in Lifestyle

Self-Love In 2022

Do you ever look at something you posted and just cringe? I do all the time. 

If your goals have anything to do with your body, I hope it’s loving it more.❤️ You are worthy right now as you are.

I never saw the problem with posting captions like this when I started my weight loss/self-love journey. Now, I see that this isn’t as helpful or cute or #girlboss as I thought it was. 

Self-love isn’t just posting a picture and adding a feel-good caption. As much as I love posting upbeat captions and hoping someone takes away something positive from it. I know the reality is I sometimes sound condescending and pompous.

Self-love is hard work. It took me years to love myself completely, and sometimes I still struggle with loving myself on certain days. But once you reach the place where you love every bit of yourself, it’s a fantastic feeling. 

It takes a lot of patience and a lot of TLC. 

I thought self-love came when you were perfect and had your life together. Instead, it’s being uncomfortable and learning what you need to change to be comfortable in your skin. So what if you have uneven skin tone, crooked smile, nonproportional arms, and uneven eyes. All these things are natural, normal, and beautiful! It’s okay to be insecure. 

I’m insecure all day, every day. All-day long, my brain spews out negative self-talk. I’m too short and too fat. I look like an overweight twelve-year-old no one will take me seriously. I’m not feminine enough because I don’t wear enough dresses and my hair is short. Does it make sense? NO! but that wouldn’t be self-doubt and anxiety if it did. I spent too long with the wrong mindset. Thinking I didn’t deserve love or to be happy.

I spent the majority of my life wishing I were smaller. I would starve myself, jumping from diet to diet, hoping to be thin. I hated my body and would have gone to any length to “fix” it.⁣⁣ I forced myself to change my mindset. I have accepted I will NEVER live up to ridiculous, unhealthy, unnatural, uncomfortable, and unnecessary standards created by media.

Changing your mindset is more challenging than losing a couple pounds, let me tell you. I had to change the way I think and talk to myself. I don’t force myself to think positive thoughts all day. That is so mentally tiring if you pressure yourself to be positive every single minute of the day. I stop myself when my mind decides to be negative. I take a moment and honestly think about what I’m saying to myself and just laugh at some of the things my mind comes up with. I also stopped thinking, “I should do….” If I should do something, I must choose to do it or forget it. 

When I started taking pictures of myself last year to get comfortable with my body, I reminded myself that I didn’t look “bad” in the photo. I looked like me. I gave myself five minutes a day of forced positivity of making myself say daily affirmations. After a while, it doesn’t feel forced anymore. 

I show myself love by making a conscious effort to be active, eat food that fuels me, spend more time enriching my mind, and find things that bring me joy, to name a few. I’m finally piecing together who and what means the world to me. And separating who/what are lessons. I have a body; I am not my body. 

The funny thing is I’ll post something like this, and then someone will say, “oh well, if you’re so self-loving and body-positive, why are you trying to lose weight?” Usually, I’d say, my body is no one’s business but my own.⁣ But it’s not that serious. I want to have a family, and being overweight can lead to complications in pregnancy. 

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