Starting June 1st, I want to post every day until September 1st.
Partly as a countdown. Partly as a distraction. Partly because I think if I keep all of this in my head any longer, it’s going to swallow me whole.
My due date is at the end of September, and everyone keeps warning me that the last month is the hardest — the most uncomfortable, the most painful, the most exhausting. So this feels like my chance to get everything out before I hit that wall.
I want to write about the things I’ve been avoiding thinking about for months.
The shock of realizing I was pregnant later than I should have.
How isolating it can feel trying to process something life-changing while the rest of the world keeps moving normally around you.
Being heavily pregnant during the summer heat.
The stress of moving.
Having to find a new doctor.
Trying to figure out a completely different delivery plan now that Hector might not even be there anymore.
The fear. The uncertainty. The guilt. The physical exhaustion. All of it.
I don’t want this to be one of those perfectly curated pregnancy countdowns where everything is glowing and beautiful all the time. Some days might be hopeful. Some days might be messy. Some days might just be me complaining about swollen feet and heat waves and crying over things that don’t make sense.
But I think I need somewhere to put all of this.
Maybe by the time September comes, I’ll feel lighter for having said it out loud.
Or at least less alone while I wait for everything to change.
