I’m excited to be participating in Bloganuary for fun. It’s been a while since I’ve taken up a daily writing challenge, but with no school to worry about, I plan to keep up with it. I’m looking forward to encountering some exciting writing prompts.
What are your biggest challenges?
My greatest challenge is none other than myself. I tend to engage in self-sabotaging behavior. It’s like I’m always getting in my own way.
Self-destructive behavior can often be traced back to feelings of anxiety and low self-esteem. Personally, I tend to be very critical of myself due to my own lack of self-respect, which can cause me to procrastinate or give up before even trying to complete a task. If I don’t push myself to finish something, it’s easy for me to put it off until later, which can ultimately become overwhelming. Whenever I feel like I’m not good enough or not trying hard enough, I struggle with feeling like I don’t have anything meaningful to offer.
Sometimes, I fear that I’ve become so self-critical that I can’t be confident in anything I do. This isn’t just a matter of not getting attention; it’s that nothing I do can make me feel like I’m not worthless. I lose motivation and end up giving up or waiting until the last minute to complete a task. Although I know what I should be doing, I often sit, panicking on the inside, and end up doing nothing. I wait until right before midnight to do all of my homework.
Recently, I had an opportunity to write a 10-page paper and a 250-word abstract, hoping to be chosen to present and publish research for said paper. Unfortunately, I allowed myself to get in the way of my success. Although some people think it was a case of impostor syndrome, I knew deep down that it wasn’t that. I was lazy and wasting time on social media instead of working on my paper. I knew what to do, but I kept putting it off until the last minute.
However, it’s a new year and a new day, and I’m determined to change my ways. I’m going to stop procrastinating and overcome my self-doubt. I know I can achieve great things, and I won’t let negative thoughts hold me back any longer. I’m excited to see what I can accomplish when I believe in myself.
