Merry Christmas Eve!!!!
Are you ready to start the celebrations? Are you prepared for the holiday to be over?
Will you stay up until midnight on Christmas Eve, or will you celebrate Christmas Day?
Are you still trying to make food, wrap gifts and not have a mental breakdown?
Iāve already had two holiday breakdowns. Thatās a new record for me.
Usually, Iām prepared for the holiday. I say that, but I always have some last-minute gifts I have to buy and some last-minute desserts I want to try. This year it feels like I got blindsided by Christmas.
Iāve stressed getting gifts, making food, and being as helpful to others. Iāve worn myself thin. Now I want the holiday to be over. I know I canāt always buy the perfect gift, make everyone happy, or have every holiday experiment unique. But that doesnāt mean I wonāt try.
I want to sit together, gifts open and forgotten, and a Harry Potter or a Christmas movie playing. I want to get over this giant to-do list Iāve made for myself.
I still havenāt gotten my boyfriendās family a gift. I want them to like me, but Iām also never around because I always work. I feel it makes the few times I do come about more of a nuisance and cause more problems than Iām worth.
How is that different than any other time Iām literally anywhere with anyone? It isnāt, but I think due to the holiday, it feels different.
Buying my boyfriendās parentsā gift, I have fallen into a spiral.
I donāt know what to get them. I donāt know what they like. Iām never around to talk to them. Maybe I shouldnāt get them anything. How can I get them to like me if I donāt get them anything. And restart the cycle.
And it doesnāt help that my boyfriendās advice is they will like whatever you get them. First of all, that is a lie. Second, donāt you know what your parents like?
I was going to make a cheesecake, but what if it isnāt good enough? I might make them some fudge, but what if they donāt like it?
So many what-ifs, and I only have one day.