Posted in Blogmas

A Little Christmas Eve Stress

Merry Christmas Eve!!!!

Are you ready to start the celebrations? Are you prepared for the holiday to be over?

Will you stay up until midnight on Christmas Eve, or will you celebrate Christmas Day?

Are you still trying to make food, wrap gifts and not have a mental breakdown?

I’ve already had two holiday breakdowns. That’s a new record for me.

Usually, I’m prepared for the holiday. I say that, but I always have some last-minute gifts I have to buy and some last-minute desserts I want to try. This year it feels like I got blindsided by Christmas.

I’ve stressed getting gifts, making food, and being as helpful to others. I’ve worn myself thin. Now I want the holiday to be over. I know I can’t always buy the perfect gift, make everyone happy, or have every holiday experiment unique. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try.

I want to sit together, gifts open and forgotten, and a Harry Potter or a Christmas movie playing. I want to get over this giant to-do list I’ve made for myself.

I still haven’t gotten my boyfriend’s family a gift. I want them to like me, but I’m also never around because I always work. I feel it makes the few times I do come about more of a nuisance and cause more problems than I’m worth.

How is that different than any other time I’m literally anywhere with anyone? It isn’t, but I think due to the holiday, it feels different.

Buying my boyfriend’s parents’ gift, I have fallen into a spiral.

I don’t know what to get them. I don’t know what they like. I’m never around to talk to them. Maybe I shouldn’t get them anything. How can I get them to like me if I don’t get them anything. And restart the cycle.

And it doesn’t help that my boyfriend’s advice is they will like whatever you get them. First of all, that is a lie. Second, don’t you know what your parents like?

I was going to make a cheesecake, but what if it isn’t good enough? I might make them some fudge, but what if they don’t like it?

So many what-ifs, and I only have one day.

Posted in Blogmas

Letter To Santa

Three Days to Christmas! How?

Is it just me, or is this Christmas not Christmasing the way it is supposed to? I barely wrote my Santa letter and started my Harry Potter marathon.

I’m SOOO thankful to autocorrect. I wrote this whole letter as Satan instead of Santa. Like, I’m not even dyslexic; I’m just dumb.

Dear Santa,

This year has passed so fast that I cannot keep up with the days.

I want to start by saying I’ve been good this year. Like really good, and it wasn’t easy. As I get older, my wants and passions have changed, so I am asking for a lot.

I’ve been suffering from crazy anxiety attacks, so there may be a way to stop that. Can you give me a little serotonin that lasts all of next year? Or something that will help me find the motivation to do little things like get out of bed and do the dishes? Maybe slip a sense of purpose to me; that would be great too.

Let us be realistic. Since only a therapist and a fistful of pills can help me. Can you give me a basic understanding of taxes and some business advice? From one hopefully soon entrepreneur to the most famous philanthropist in the world.

Now, my dear Santa, I know you are a strong supporter of the dadbod and have a few extra pounds. I love that for you, but me not so much. Now I know I’m a full meal, and my thick thighs saved lives, but I could use some help to lose some serious weight. I’m over here looking like the pickle guy from SpongeBob.

I’ll put in some work too. Just help me lose a stone or two. If by the end of the year I’m 57 kilos, that would be perfect. Sorry, I’m obsessed with British weight loss shows.

I would ask for a better world. I’d say world peace, but I doubt this world will ever be peaceful. Can we restart this game of the sims because everyone is poor and fighting with each other? But you aren’t a miracle worker. I have a specific idea of how we could improve the world. Now this one isn’t your forte but would it be possible to do a scrooging on like every billionaire? Send the ghost and let them buy the turkeys for the poor and give away millions to the needy. It would only be right. This is the 30th anniversary of The Muppets Christmas Carol. So like perfect time. We could even use The Muppets again.

I realize this all seems like a lot, but I’m sure you can handle this.

Please and Thank you,

The only proper response to this letter is.

Posted in Blogmas

Sharing the Love this Christmas

This Christmas, I feel like I’ve been so materialistic. Not for myself but for getting everyone the perfect gift.

Because gift-giving is one of my love languages, I forget that gifts don’t matter. Spending time with friends and family is more important than checking off an Amazon wishlist. And it took me watching Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas and writing out my Christmas cards to realize that it’s just about sharing love.

I’m watching the movie, and the last story, The Gift of the Magi, comes on, and I’m crying. I’m twenty-five years old; I’m still crying over this.

Does anyone else watch it and wish you had a love like that? Willing to give up everything that matters to make the person you love happy?

But it wasn’t even that story; it was the narrator at the end before everyone started singing. The narrator says, “This Christmas season let us all do our parts to keep Christmas spirits alive in our hearts.”

And I was like, what have I done to share the Christmas spirit? And all I could think about was, well, I’m buying everyone gifts. But let’s be honest, that’s not doing that much. And I looked down and remembered I was writing these sincere cards to people I can’t see often and who I don’t talk to regularly because I miss them and want them to know I care. But I want to do something for the people around me in my neighborhood, but I don’t know what.

My grandmother had a lemon tree in her backyard and would force us kids, to pass out lemons to all the neighbors. It didn’t matter if they asked or not; they got lemons on their doorsteps.

I would love to do something like that, but in this day and age, people would throw away whatever I left on their doorstep. I know because if something random appeared on my doorstep, I would throw it away.

It’s sad how we’ve grown as a society to be so untrusting of everyone. I wish I could have experienced knowing your neighbors, instead my neighbors are crazy. I literally had a neighbor yell at me over stealing their Amazon package.

Things just aren’t what they used to be.

I wish we could grow closer as a society and be kind to one another.

Posted in Blogmas, Food and Beverage

The Fudging Best

Guess who finally learned what fudge is?

That’s right it’s me.

After years of watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas and the holiday cheermeister scene and the Whos shoving different foods down the Grinch’s throat I finally stopped and said what is fudge?

The fact that fudge is a cream candy made of butter, sugar, milk, and usually chocolate. It’s so easy to make.

I had to make some. Luckily a friend of mine had a recipe and was willing to share. Of course she was confused how I never had fudge before.

I’m sure I did as a kid but I didn’t remember.

So we made fudge and watched the Grinch.

And of course I have the recipe.


  • 3 cups dark chocolate chips,
  • 1 14- oz can Sweetened Condensed Milk
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
  • 2 tbsp caramel topping


  1. Line an 8×8-inch square baking pan with parchment paper, leaving the ends hanging over the sides. Be sure to press it down.
  2. In a microwave safe bowl, combine the chocolate chips and condensed milk. Microwave on high for 1 1/2 minutes. Stir. Return to the microwave and heat for an addition 1 to 1 1/2 minutes, until smooth when stirred.
  3. Stir in the vanilla extract and half the walnuts. Pour the mixture into the prepared pan and spread into a single, even layer. Sprinkle with the remaining walnuts.
  4. Warm the caramel sauce until its of spreading consistency. Drizzle over the fudge. Cover with foil and chill at least 2 hours or until Fudge sets completely.
  5. When the fudge has set, remove the dish from the refrigerator. Carefully run a butter knife around the edges of the pan to loosen any fudge that is touching the side of the dish. Use the ends of the parchment paper to lift the fudge and place it on a cutting board.
  6. Cut the fudge into your desired size.
Posted in Blogmas

Christmas Cards

BLOGMAS Day 15!!!!

At the beginning of the year, I recently reconnected with my family on my dad’s side, so I decided to send them all Christmas cards. I’m behind on sending out my Christmas cards

But I have this fun little idea to make Christmas Crackers out of the card. Now in the UK, they have these super cute little decorations that have jokes or poems or quotes in them with little trinkets. I think they are adorable and are becoming more popular in America.

So I plan on writing my cards like usual with a message about I’m grateful to know the person, but I wanted to add a recipe and some stickers to each gift. And since I’m not sure if everyone knows what a Christmas cracker is, I plan to write a little message explaining it in each card.

“I’m not sure if you are familiar with Christmas crackers; they are popular British decorations with small gifts inside. Unfortunately, we aren’t British, and I’m not there to spend Christmas with you. I hope you enjoy my version of a Christmas cracker.”

I think having some little tuck-in, the card makes it more memorable and fun. No one really gets physical cards, but I love the idea of a physical card.

Posted in Blogmas

Countdown to Christmas

Where has the time gone?

We are eleven days from Christmas! And I barely started my holiday checklist. 

It’s the same every year; hopefully, I can add more things to it in the upcoming years. I think we can all tell I am a creature of habit and like repetition. 

  • Have a Harry Potter movie marathon
  • Make Hot Cocoa from scratch 
  • Decorate a gingerbread house
  • Make my 2022 ornanament
  • Christmas movie marathon
  • Holiday crafts 
  • plan my 2023 goals
  • Write my letter to Santa
  • Send out Christmas cards 
  • Make Tamales 
  • Drive and see Christmas lights

The current list has no particular order. These are things I try to do every year. Do I do a special something every year? Heck no! It wasn’t until I put up the tree I noticed I did not make a 2021 ornament. I got ornaments as a gift, but I didn’t make any.  

For a Christmas movie marathon, my must-watch movies are:

Noelle, it’s on Disney Plus. Super cute movie with Anna Kindrick as Santa’s daughter who has to help her brother become the next Santa Claus. 

The Muppet Christmas Story is also on Disney plus. I would love for a bunch of very serious movies with the muppets. The Muppets’ version of Hamlet would be amazing.  

The Little Shop Around the Corner is a classic romance. Boy meets girl, and they reject each other they fall in love. It’s the original enemies turned lovers. 

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is always a must-watch. Where are you Christmas gets stuck in my head the second I hear it.

Posted in Blogmas

I Want a Winter Picnic

It’s 49 degrees outside and, basically, midnight, and all I want to do is have a winter picnic.

There’s something about how the moon looks and how it’s cold but not too cold. I think even if it was snowing I’d still want a picnic.

It doesn’t even need to be anything fancy. Something simple, calming and romantic.

Warm blankets wrapped around our shoulders, on top of a hill watching the city lights while drinking hot chocolate with cookies and foil wrapped toasted sandwiches. All the picnic spots in LA close at 10pm. But there are plenty of places to park a car and talk.

My life’s best and most meaningful conversations have been in a car. Car talks are so intimate if you’re with the right person. It’s pretty much completely quiet except for your voices.

Maybe I’ve been reading too many books and watching too many hallmarks. But I think I’ll wait another week until people are finally in the Christmas spirit, have up their lights, and then try to drive around.

Maybe I can convince my boyfriend to wear a matching onesie, get some hot cocoa and drive around. Maybe I can come up with a nice winter sandwich by them. Or maybe make popcorn since well be driving around.

I know picnics are usually associated with summertime. But why not be adventurous and try out a winter picnic?

Posted in Blogmas, Food and Beverage

Santa Cookies

I know im late with this post but I had to see a woman about a cookie.

I confused a few people when I said I wanted Santa cookies instead of Christmas cookies a couple of days ago.

No they aren’t cookies that look like Santa.

These are called Santa cookies because they are Santa’s favorite cookies. I know you think your grandma’s recipe for chocolate chip cookies are his favorite, but they aren’t.

I would love to take credit for these, but they are a friend’s cookie recipe. 

My friend and her mom make these during the holiday season. 

While my family and I make dozens of tamales, my friend makes dozens of cookies. 

Now you can make these all year round, but they like to make them at Christmas time just cause it makes it more unique and gives us something to look forward to.

Now my friend hasn’t made the cookies yet. And I’m fiending for them. I can eat my body weight in these. So I begged for the recipe. The original recipe, not the version they currently use, makes 100 cookies at a time.

Luckily my friend’s mom took pity on me and gave me the recipe. And she even gave me permission to share it. I’m so excited i plan on making them tomorrow.

They did preface by saying it is not a unique cookie recipe and that they don’t know if the grandmother made this up or found it in a magazine. So humble of them to downplay it.

They make two types of cookies. The cookie base is the same for both Christmas and traditional versions. I love the classic cookie better. But maybe you prefer a more festive cookie. 


  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 cups rolled oats
  • 1 cup shortening 
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 cup light brown sugar, packed lightly
  • Two eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tbsp cinnamon
  • 6 oz chocolate chips


  1. Preheat oven to 350°F
  2. In a large mixing bowl, beat shortening on medium speed for one minute until smooth and creamy. 
  3. Gradually add in both sugars, vanilla, and eggs. Add eggs one at a time, beating for 30 seconds after each.
  4. Sift flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt into the wet ingredients and combine well. 
  5. Add chocolate chips and oats to the batter. (For the Christmas version, add half a cup of chopped walnuts or pecans and half a cup of shredded coconut, and replace half the amount of chocolate chips with festive M&Ms.)
  6. Shape the batter into small balls using your hands and place them on a greased baking sheet. Leave a few inches between cookies for them to spread.
  7. Bake for 13 to 18 minutes or until edges are lightly browned. Let cookies cool on the tray for 3-4 minutes before moving them to a wire cooling rack.

Do you prefer to eat traditional cookies or something with an added festive flair? Either way, you’re going to love these cookies!

Posted in Blogmas

A Winter Book

I was trying so hard not to buy a book this month since I’m 1000% positive most of not all of my friends got me books for Christmas.

But I couldn’t help myself. Kiss Her Once For Me by Alison Cochrun seemed too good to pass up.

An LGBTQ+ holiday rom-com is all that I want from a new contemporary romance. I still wish all the tropes like give me a meet-cute but also mix it up.


The author of the “swoon-worthy debut” (Harper’s BazaarThe Charm Offensive returns with a festive romantic comedy about a woman who fakes an engagement with her landlord…only to fall for his sister.

One year ago, recent Portland transplant Ellie Oliver had her dream job in animation and a Christmas Eve meet-cute with a woman at a bookstore that led her to fall in love over the course of a single night. But after a betrayal the next morning and the loss of her job soon after, she finds herself adrift, alone, and desperate for money.

Finding work at a local coffee shop, she’s just getting through the days—until Andrew, the shop’s landlord, proposes a shocking, drunken plan: a marriage of convenience that will give him his recent inheritance and alleviate Ellie’s financial woes and isolation. They make a plan to spend the holidays together at his family cabin to keep up the ruse. But when Andrew introduces his new fiancée to his sister, Ellie is shocked to discover it’s Jack—the mysterious woman she fell for over the course of one magical Christmas Eve the year before. Now, Ellie must choose between the safety of a fake relationship and the risk of something real.

Perfect for fans of Written in the Stars and One Day in DecemberKiss Her Once for Me is the queer holiday rom-com that you’ll want to cozy up with next to the fire. 

Tell me that doesn’t sound adorable. I would love nothing more than to curl up with a peppermint hot cocoa, and Santa cookies to spend the next few hours devouring this book. But I have to wait till tomorrow cuz I ordered the book to late. I’m crying cuz I’m so impatient and this book seems so cute. It’s giving the Sandra bullock movie, While You Were Sleeping vibes.

Speaking of that movie is that a Christmas movie? Cuz I kinda feel like watching it. I’ve decided it’s a Christmas movie. I’m watching it. If you need me for in the next hour and 43 minutes, don’t.

Posted in Blogmas

A not so special holiday special

I love the tv movies that CBS and ABC made in the 60s and 70s. I know they made the cartoons to get more people to watch tv on Christmas, but they put a lot of work into it. All hand drawn or stop motion, with some even having big celebrities of the times like Fred Astaire in Santa Claus Is Coming to Town. The original How the Grinch Stole Christmas is a classic. The animated Rudolph, the red-nose reindeer, still plays every year. And even though I own it on DVD, I still like to watch it on TV; it feels so nostalgic.

Nowadays you have some things that are pure cash grabs. They use the hype of whatever show or movie hoping that will be enough. Some things should never have been made- A Medea Christmas, A Christmas Story 2, the third Santa Clause movie. And then the most hated of them all, the 1978 Star Wars holiday special.

It’s hilarious how divided Star Wars fans are about the movies. You’ll hear things like, “The prequels are so terrible!” or “The sequels are so terrible!” Yet they come together to bash the holiday special.

This thing only ever aired once—November 17, 1978, and never again. It’s funny because that’s my mom’s birthday, so I like to say she cursed Star Wars.

I’m genuinely thankful to those smart enough to record their TVs back then because that made it available online and on YouTube for poor people like me who weren’t born yet.

I watched this a year or two ago because Disney+ made a Lego Star Wars holiday special inspired by the 1978 special. So, of course, I had to see the original.

The basic plot is that Chewbacca wants to go to his home planet to celebrate a Wookiee holiday; if I remember, it’s Christmas mixed with the day of the dead. Chewbacca’s primary goal is to spend the holiday with his wife and his son, lumpy.

This is my sleep paralysis demon

It’s an hour and a half long; it wasn’t bad or good; it just was what it was. The plot is inconsistent and there’s a bunch of random cameos.

I watched it, and I only remember one scene. It’s Bea Arthur (Dorothy from Golden Girls) singing. It happens in the cantina, and the song has a cheerful yet melancholy tone. I love this song. I downloaded it, and every time it plays on my phone, I have to remind myself what it’s from because I always forget about the special.

I think tonight I will try to rewatch the special and see if I like it this time.

Also my very first time ever hearing about the special was actually a song that mocks the entire thing.

Are you a even a true Star Wars fan if you haven’t seen the special?

If you have seen it what are your thoughts on it??